Azalea

chapter 43~ hate him

After I was left alone, I stood up and took a shower, where thoughts of unaliving myself went missing

I changed myself into new clothes and walked out, where I saw Kanji.

"Azalea." I look at him. I want him to say whatever he wants so he can leave soon.

"Do you feel better?" he asks.

I clear my throat by coughing and say

"No, but as you know, I was an actress back in my days." I see as his face loses all the color. Maxim told me that Alexsa sent him the videos of me.

"Azal-" I didn't let him finish the sentence and spoke.

"You're right; I should have left."

"What?" he says, looking at me confused.

"Our conversation at the garden," I remind him.

I lay in bed, and he leaves.

I hate him.

He kissed Alexsa, and it made me feel so bad, so disappointed, so hurt, so betrayed.

But why

I hear another knock, but this time I can't recognize who it is.

A few seconds later, someone comes in, and I see a woman.

With my eyes and the looks of someone who ruined my life

She smiles softly and says, "Hello, Azalea, my name is Amara."

She looks like her, but at the same time, she doesn't.

"You may have seen me in pictures, I'm-"

"Mother" sounded more like a question.

She nods and gets excited that I remembered.

"I believe apologizing doesn't mean anything to you; your father was the same, but it still feels some sort of way when they say it."

"I'm sorry that I gave up on you and didn't let your father get his way and find you, and I'm more sorry for the kind of sister I gave you."

Her smile isn't like Alexsas; it's only her hair and something, but I'm not sure what

I have a mom.

"I was never there to protect you; that's why I don't get to be called your mom. I want to earn that title," she states.

"It was Kory," I say, the name of a woman who gave me steroids and a gun for me to escape.

"I'm proud of you being my daughter and sharing DNA with me; you did well; you survived, but if you let me earn the title of your mother, I can assure you that you're safe now," she suggests.

"That's what Dorian said," I state. "It didn't go well."

"What happened, if I may ask?" she questions.

She sounds gentle.

I like her.

I shake my head. "It sounds dumb," I tell her.

"No, darling, if it upset you, it must have been something."

"He raised his voice at me."

"Made you remind past" sha ask

"How did you know? Did they tell you?"

She shakes her head. "I had the same past before my husband came and made sure I'm not just a girl but his universe," she smiles.

"He sounds like a gentleman," I state.

"That's a weak word for him."

I want a mom, but I'm scared it will happen all over again.

"Amm, about your offer, there's a few things I want to ask if that's okay." I say shyly.

"Anything you want."

"I know it may sound unfair, so if you decline, it's okay. It also sounds like ultimate because it is... I don't want anything to do with Alexsa."

"I know it's unfair to make you choose between two daughters, but that's the way I am. I want to feel safe, but that won't happen if she's in my life, and the same is true of your son's, but we all see how that ended," I say.

"She's in the psycho ward; she's not getting out of there any time soon."

"And you're okay with that?" I ask.

"I put her there; I understand we're in the mafia and there's a need to do some bad things to survive, but one thing that has never happened is betrayal of a sibling or a family."

"For generations, no matter what happened or how much they hated their siblings at the moment, you can't harm your family; that's the only rule that hasn't changed in centuries."

"No person will be called my daughter who has betrayed and done things that she did to you," she says, giving me a sad smile.

"Did you read the latter?" I ask, and she nods.

"Why aren't you eating?" she asks.

"If I don't eat long enough, I kind of lose feeling of hunger," I state.

"I ordered pizza; let's go downstairs."

"I don't want to see others; I feel uncomfortable," she says, looking at me confused.

"I'm scared Dorian will raise his voice, and Theodore looked so angry at me. I feel betrayed," I admit.