Chapter 36

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I lay in mums legs the back of my head on her stomach.
"Was wondering when you were gonna show up missus." Mum says to me as I let my head be heavier as it weighs onto her stomach. She's wearing a bikini. All the lionesses are wearing a bikini right now.
"I was playing a bit of bball then did a quick gym sesh" I say. I'm talking quietly as I can tell some people are staring at me or sharing glances.
"Mum why does everyone always stare at me?" I ask her.
"Cuz your beautiful." She says and I roll my eyes.
"What's up?" Mum says. She can always sense when somethings wrong. "And don't say it's just the staring cuz I know it's not that." Mum finishes.
"Just some bastard thinking he's the best." I say deciding to skip the bit about him being a racist prick or me getting into a fight.
"Language!" Mum says.
At that moment a middle aged woman enters with. Oh of course it's that kid. I see the kid point at me and then the woman comes storming over.
"THIS GIRL PUNCHED MY SON AND I AM NOT HAPPY! I WILL BE REPORTING THIS JUST SO YOU KNOW!" She shouts causing a scene.
"T is this true?" Mum says rather calmly.
"Yes I punched him. I did have a good reason though." I say.
"What was your reason?" Mum asked.
"He went for me first it was self defence." I say and mum nods.
"You still hit him I will be reporting it!" The woman says.
"Ok and how about I report the thing that he said to me as he was walking off?" I say and this causes the boy to shake his head and try and drag his mother away.
"What did he say?" Mum asks.
"He told me to go back to my own country. As well as calling me a stupid retarded nigga." I say. The boys mother looks shocked and angry.
"We won't report if you don't report." The kids mother said.
"Your choice T." Mum says to me.
"I'd prefer to forget about it then report him." I say and mum nods.
"But I would advise you to get the fuck away!" Mum finishes and then the two scurry away like that little rat in lion king.
"You ok?" Mum says and I shake my head side to side.
"Why do I have to be different?" I ask mum as my eyes start to water a little bit. Trust me I don't cry often but every time I do it seems to be in front of the England team!
"Different is good baby." Mum says as she comforts me. I lay my head on her shoulder as tears fill my eyes.
"It's not good! I hate it! I want to be normal!" I raise my voice as I start crying more heavily.
"Shh. Shh." Mum comforts. "You're right your not normal." Mum says. "Your funny. Your kind. Your talented." She says.
"And yet the world still hates me!" I say. At this point I've forgot we're not the only ones in the room. "First I'm born black! Then dad dies! Then mum! Then I get slapped! Then racist comments! What next mum! What next?" I shout crying.
"Baby, heyy." Mum says but i have lost all control of my body at this point. I start struggling to breathe and shake.
"Leah please can you get a glass of water. Tiana im gonna need you to breathe for me." Mum says as I have started to have a panic attack.
"I-I can't." I stutter out.
"Yes you can. Look in time with my heart beat." Mum says as she places my head on her heart. In and out. In and our. After what seems like hours I get my breath back.
"Your okay now." Mum says as I hide my face in her.
"How about we go get you cleaned up?" Mum says and I nod as my face is soaked from tears and so is my shirt. Leah gives my mum a glass of water and I take it holding it shakily. I take a few sips and try to stop crying. I look up to give the glass back to Leah and I notice people staring.
"What's these people's fucking problem?!" I say getting myself a bit worked up again. Mum grabs my hands and tells me to breathe.
"They're just curious that's all." Mum says and I nod. "Come on let me take you back up to the room." Mum says and I let her lead me up there.

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