My love...

Mother

I called Gustav and Georg to tell them that we were going to Tom and Bills parents house. As we go there we hopped off the bus and walked in. Toms farther started screaming German words.
'Sie ist gegangen' he started crying
'Was meinst du' Bill shouted back
'Bill, sie ist tot' Tom shouted
'Was, nein, das ist sie nicht!' Bill said running out of the front door
'Bill!' Maddie shouted as she ran after him. Tom walked out of the house and on to the bus, I said bye to his farther then followed him into the bus.

I walked in and he was sat on the couch sobbing, I sat down next to him and put my arms around him. Tom turned to me and his arms flew around me practically squeezing the air out of me. Tom just cried and cried, I didn't know what to say . There was nothing to say all I knew was that Tom was hurting and I couldn't do anything to help him, that hurt me more than anything. I pulled Tom close to me the closest we could possibly get, he pulled at my top. It was practically soaked through from his tears, I couldn't help but cry with him. The flash backs were happening again and I could just see my mother on her death bed. I had tried my hardest to push those memories down but they had just some flooding back up.

We both cried for a good 2 hours before Tom looked up and me with blood shot eyes and a red face.
'Lily' he sniffed 'I don't want to do this anymore'
'What do you mean' I said as I wiped tears away
'I don't want to go on without her' Tom cried. I began to cry even harder.
'Tom, I love you and you have to stay think of how much we all love you!' I said pulling his face up to me. I stared into his eyes and all I could see was anger with a bit of hurtfulness. He got up and went to the bathroom, I could hear him crying and then he started to punch things. This was his anger side of grief, I ran to him to see his nuckles all bloody.
'Tom what are you doing!' I said very concerned. He didn't reply. He then grabbed his phone and called Bill.
'Bill, ich kann das nicht tun. Wir müssen reden. Komm jetzt zurück zum Bus' he said before hanging up. I sat back down and just looked at him. He was stood there with his nuckles dripping in blood, I get up and went to find the first aid box. I grabbed a few bandaids and walked back to see Tom on his phone.

I grabbed his hand and he pulled it back away.
'Tom you need this!' I slightly shouted
'Get off' tom screamed at me and I tried to get his hand again
'Why are you doing this, I'm trying to help' I snapped. Tom scoffed and walked out of the bus. I heard his lighter flick and then I could smell his cigarette, I don't know what has gotten into him but i know that he is grieving. Bill and Maddie shortly turned up and Bill looked all flushed and Maddie was holding his hand.