My love...

Anxiety

On the car ride up to dads I could feel my self getting more and more anxious, my leg started to shake. Oh no. No! I didn't want to have one of my panic attacks. Tom looked at me and then placed his hand in my thigh, Bill and Mads had decided to join us to go meet dad and Kayla. The two were huddled up together in the backseats, they were snogging each other's faces off.
'Get a room' Tom laughed. I tried to laugh but I felt too sick.
'Lily are you alright?' Tom asked me
'Feeling a little sick'
'Probably just nerves' he say reassuring me. "I doubt it" I thought to myself.

As we pulled up the drive, I had a whole wave come over me. I had so many emotions, sad, sick , angry,scared. Too many to count. I held toms hand as we all walked into the house, I was dreading to see him. But there he was sat on the couch looking actually sober, I sat down next to him.
'You look sober' I said breaking the silence
'Yeah I'm trying to be a better dad and grandad'
'What a better dad to Kayla and not me?!' I questioned
'What no I was a good dad to you and I still am' he demanded
'Apart from you beating the shit out of me yeah alright' I spat as I got up
'Now where is Kayla' I shouted
'In the kitchen' dad spat at me. What a dick!

I walked into the kitchen to see Kayla sat on the bar stool with a bowl of cereal in her hand and a spoon in her mouth. She was flicking through the newspaper
'KAYLA!!' I screamed as I ran over and hugged her
' LILYYY!!' She screamed back and pulled me into a hug.
'Woahh how old is this precious one?' I asked and I held her baby bump.
' 8 months today' she smiled
'Well Kayla meet Tom and Bill and well Mads but you know her' I giggled as I moved back to let them talk.
'Hey I'm Tom the one who you spoke to on the phone' Tom said awkwardly
'Heyy Tom nice to meet you' Kayla smiled
'And your Bill, the best singer' oh and I had forgot to mention that Kayla was like obsessed and when I say obsessed I mean OBSESSED with tokio hotel (I had forgotten that)
'Oh yep that's me, is it a girl or a boy?' Bill said as he held her bump
'Well we don't know yet' Kayla admitted
'That's a same' Bill laughed. We all chatted and laughed for a few hours before we were ready to go home.

As we were saying goodbye, Kayla grabbed my arm and said 'lily you have to help me! Dad isn't who you think he is, he's worse'
'Kayla what do you mean?!?'
'You have to get me away from him' she cried 'I'll pay you just help me please!'
'Fine your coming with us!' I demanded. We snuck Kayla out and into the car, dad hadn't even said goodbye he was drinking! FFS. 'Kayla I didn't know you were coming with us' Mads stated
'Yeah dad is a sick fuck' she laughed, as we drove back home Kayla was getting to know the others. We finally got back home and Kayla ran to the bathroom because she had to be sick! Kayla gets really bad motion sickness and on top of that she is pregnant. I felt envy I wanted a baby so bad.