When the Tide Switches - Rafe Cameron

Chapter 17- Meaningful Words

Disclaimer: Drugs Addiction, Relapse

Rafe stormed out of his room immediately and I ran after him. 

"Rafe, Rafe please stop," I yelled. He ignored me and left the house through the front door. 

"Rafe, please just stop," I yelled at him louder as he was putting his helmet on and getting ready to leave on his bike. I got closer to him and grabbed his face so he was looking at me. 

I looked into those blue eyes that I had fallen in love with but something about them was different. They weren't the eyes that he looked at me with, they were full of rage and ache. He was hurting so much and I could feel it, when Rafe is like this nothing ever ends well. 

"Rafe please just come back and let's just watch a movie and relax he's not worth a fight," I begged him, sobs exiting my voice. 

"Lillian, I need to control this, do you understand?" he yelled so loud, lifting his hand from his side to his face. 

I flinched. 

He saw my movement and I could see more anger get in him. "Lillian, do you fucking believe I could hurt you? Do you?" He yelled and I stayed quiet. "For fucks sake answer me!" He screamed. I started to shake, I was starting to feel scared. I took a few steps back from him and he kept repeating 'I will fix this' to himself while he got on his bike and drove away. 

I stood there, processing what had just happened. Rafe would never hurt me, my whole life I never thought he could. Even when we were enemies. But the man that had just left wasn't the Rafe I knew. He was different, he was scary. And to my surprise, I think he could hurt me. 

No. I wasn't going down that road again. I couldn't let myself go there. 

I took my car and tried to follow him without him noticing. I was sobbing so much, I didn't want to be scared of one of the only people that felt like home but the Rafe that I had just witnessed didn't feel like home, not even close. 

I recognized where he was driving, Barry's. No, I was making him relapse. What had I done? 

I saw him park his bike and as soon as he entered the house I pulled up and parked. I waited for a few minutes before entering and just thought back at everything that had happened in the past 20 minutes. I cried for what felt like hours and then realized what I was actually here for. 

I wiped the tears off of my face and got out of the car. I went in Barry's trailer, still shaking but I had to hide that. 

"Ms. Country Club that you?" he asked me. 

"Just here to see Rafe, so don't try anything with me. Are we clear?" I asked him coldly. 

"Yes ma'am, but I don't think Country Club wants company at the moment." He told me, he wasn't talking in his usual tone, this was more serious.

 "What do you mean Barry?" I asked him scared of his question. 

"See for yourself," He told me and pointed to a window that showed a room. In the room was Rafe, he was snorting lines and he had punched a hole in the wall, he seemed so bad. "Normally, I would tell him to stop but I don't want to mess with him right now," Barry told me once again with a serious tone. The Rafe that I saw was terrifying, he was so aggressive and I felt like at that moment he wouldn't think twice before hurting me. 

I saw him get up after he snorted the last line, he was about to walk out the door. I hid under a counter and I overheard his conversation with Barry. 

"Thanks for the coke man," Rafe told him as he handed Barry some money. 

"Course man, where you off to now?" Barry asked Rafe, I almost felt like he was asking that for me.