When the Tide Switches - Rafe Cameron

Chapter 37- Used To Saying It

Play Tornado Warnings by Sabrina Carpenter while reading this! 

The next morning I woke up next to Sarah and Kie. It was eight in the morning and as always I was the only one that wasn't asleep. I didn't mind it though, I liked having some time for myself in the morning, just to think. 

The day before Jj tried to kiss me and my thoughts on that were the only ones at the moment that weren't tangled. I didn't like Jj, and I never was going to, and hopefully, he knew that now. I was ready to pick up from where we were before and was hoping he would too. I never wanted to hurt him but leading him on wouldn't have been any better. 

I decided I was going to go downstairs and start getting breakfast ready, just because I didn't want to sit in bed and do nothing. I got to the kitchen and played some music while I made smoothies for Sarah, Kie, and me. 

I had my playlist on shuffle as usual, and the first song to play was Tornado Warnings by Sabrina Carpenter, I started singing along to the lyrics, which, I now related to. Because of Rafe. 

I missed him so much but tried my best to not acknowledge that, but it was so fucking hard. Rafe had been my whole life, and now he was just nostalgia. 

I heard footsteps coming from behind me as I poured some orange juice into the blender. "Sar can you help me?" I said while taking glasses out of the cupboard. "Um, it's Rafe," Rafe said from the other end of one of the kitchen aisles. 

At that, I accidentally dropped two of the glass cups I had in my hands. "Shit," I yelled, feeling the glass shatter by my bare feet, partly on them. "Fuck Lil," Rafe yelled and ran towards me. Tears started to come out of my cheeks, as a reaction to some of the glass cutting my feet. I stepped away from the scene but landed on more glass making me swear again. 

"Lil, don't move," Rafe said to me, walking to me, about to touch my waist. "Stay the fuck away from me Rafe," I yelled at him. Rafe ignored me and lifted me bridal style. Him holding me like that gave me deja vu to the million times he had done that priorly. 

Whether it was because my feet hurt from my heels, or if it was to dive in the ocean from the Druther's edge. 

I looked at him, my eyes filled with tears and we had eye contact for a split millisecond, it felt so wrong for us not to be together. He brought me to the couch and laid me on it softly. "Stay here," he said, with a serious tone. "The hell I will," I spat out. "Fine," he said, picking me up and bringing me to the bathroom. 

All of what was happening gave me a wave of anxiety, it was like a big build-up. The fact that Rafe and I weren't together, what he had said at Midsummers, Jj kissing me, the glass that was now inside my feet, Daniel, the way Rafe was holding me, it all contributed to the panic attack I was about to get. 

I quietly started hyperventilating, and Rafe who was too focused on getting to the bathroom didn't notice. "Rafe let go of me," I sobbed, struggling to get the words out of my throat because of the quiet sobs coming out of my mouth. 

"No Lil, you're hurt," Rafe said to me, with a firm tone. "Rafe please, I-I can't breathe," I let out and he finally looked down at me, understanding what was going on. 

"Fuck, it's okay baby breathe," he said and immediately looked at me with a frozen look, realizing what he had just said. Him calling me baby only made me more unsettled. 

He put me down on a small couch that was in the hallway. "I'm not your baby, leave me alone Rafe, I mean it," I yelled, still struggling to breathe. 

"No, not until your attack stops, let me just help you then I'll leave," Rafe said. I stood up, trying to get away from him, and winced at the pain coming from my feet. "Lil sit down, you can't walk," Rafe yelled. I just kept hyperventilating trying to get to a bathroom as fast as I could, but Rafe took my arm and stopped me from doing so.