𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 | moved beside the Camerons after her father, Mark Madison had became business partners with Ward Cameron. Isla, the oldest child out of two had caught the attention of an older boy - Rafe Cameron. She started to fall for the...
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"I'm half a heart without you. Though, I try to get you out of my head. The truth is that I got lost without you."
August 3rd, 2021. OuterBanks, North Carolina.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
Sunshine sat on the horizon as the summer breeze passed throughout the tall trees surrounding the large estate home. The curtains in my room blew with the breeze after I had opened the window earlier in the morning to seek refuge in the colder weather during the night. Feeling sick, I pushed myself up from my bed and rushed to the bathroom after I participated in infidelity towards my partner in the earlier evening with my best friend. The night had been a blur despite us being with each other all night, making out in the warmth of my bedroom as a movie played on the television screen. It made JJ become much more sober throughout the night as he couldn't keep himself away from me. It was more than mutual, it felt right during the moment we shared with another after the long day of emotions. On the other hand, I didn't know what I wanted but I felt disgusted with my behavior in giving in to the temptation that JJ had given towards me. JJ made me feel on top of the world during that moment which made me feel like I was the issue now.
I knew how much pain it would cause my partner if he were to find out about the infidelity, but I knew that if I told him, he would either harm me or JJ due to his lack of controlling his behavior when he was mad. Sitting on the cold wooden floor in the large bathroom, I hunched myself over the toilet and had started to throw up uncontrollably. My body shakes with anxiety as I feel as if I can't control myself any more. Knowing the harm I would cause, knowing that my love for Rafe could be a lie but I didn't know. I didn't know how I felt deep within. I did love him and enjoyed being around him. He was such a great person. He had grown personality wise and had the biggest heart when it came to things that he loved. He wanted to take care of me alongside his baby that was starting to form into a small human inside of me. Throwing up burnt the back of my throat, leaving my mouth and dumping itself into the toilet in front of me. The feeling of pain inside had erupted into my chest. Betrayal, disgust with myself that I would ever put someone through that.
Despite the emotions I had felt while being with JJ that entire night. I hated myself. I wanted to break down in tears and hide away from the shame that took over my body. The smell of puke flooded the bathroom from it sitting in the bottom of the toilet. Shaking with anxiety, I couldn't move away from the bathroom floor. My chest pounded with pain. I didn't think I could face Rafe. Fearful that he would be suspicious of me if I didn't go around him, meaning I would either have to tell him or I would need to be nonchalant and act normal around him. Knowing that I needed to get up and head down to the beach to meet with my friends for a surfing session, I couldn't push myself up to get up from the floor of the bathroom. I didn't know if I needed to call my parents into the room, or yell for JJ to come help me. I felt stiff with sickness. Frozen to the touch and I couldn't stop shaking knowing that I cheated on someone that I had fallen in love with.
