Love You Goodbye - Harry Styles (Fanfic)

~Harry~ (5)

"So she wouldn't hear you out?" Niall asked tilting his head curiously at my as I held my face in both my hands. Brushing one hand through my hair as I lifted my head up,
"I can't blame her for not wanting to. I just thought after all this time I'd finally be able to apologize for being such an idiot back then."

"I don't understand why you are still so hung up on this girl mate." Zayn began shaking his head from side to side, "You can definitely do better." 

"It's not about that and I tried."

"Not hard enough you need to loosen yourself up. We are surrounded by literally dozens of worlds most beautiful woman. Take the opportunity. Find you one that is actually interested in you."

"It's not that simple and I don't know if I can, Zayn." I shifted my gaze back down to the floor.

"Oh don't do that." Zayn shook his head from side to side, "Don't act like you actually still have feelings for her."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. It took me forever to get her out of mind and seeing her again.... Ive never felt that way about anyone."

Zayn scoffed, "Oh piss of mate and I mean that with respect but you really got to let this go."

Liam placed a hand on my shoulder randomly, "Believe me man you can do anything you put your mind too. Zayns got a point your freaking Harry Styles. There are hundreds of girls out there that would love to have you alright. Now tonight is going to be a great show, a good audience and even more amazing company." Louis and Zayn smirked at his comment,

"Don't get me wrong she always seemed like a great girl but it's in the past. You both have said it. So learn from it and move on."

Niall nodded his head a few times, "I agree man. I know how much you care for Leslie and how seeing her again really shook you up but it seems like you have your answer. You can't force her into talking if she doesn't want too."

I ran my hand over my face, "I just wish I hadn't been such a dick to her. She didn't deserve it. I didn't realize how much she meant to me until she was gone."

"Like we said mate." Zayn came behind me and grabbed my shoulders, "You can't stay in the past. Now what's say we give these models a real show."

Louis cheered and Liam smiled. I was trying to force myself to feel excited but all I felt was knots forming in my stomach at the thought of having to see her again. What if I fucked up the performance? Or worse what if she couldn't do her job because of me. The last thing I wanted to do was make anything else worse.
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The whole for tonight's run way had to do with rock and roll and edge. The guys and I determined where our equipment should go and we began to tune everything up. We tested the mics and went through a few practice rounds before deciding what songs to sing and the order to do them. Everything had to be approved by the show's directors as well. They had a separate wardrobe team come and set us up in our outfits for the show which wasn't much different as to what we normally performed on. The only new accessory the team added to my outfit was a leather jacket. Rarely wore them but it fit well with the them and my basic attire of black skinny jeans, black boots and a white t-shirt. Waiting backstage I felt so anxious the models were all get ready next door and I couldn't stop picturing Leslie. Her smile. The shock she had in her eyes when she saw me. The same pain that reflected in them on that day. I wish everything hadn't gone so wrong because it all used to be so good. I tried restraining my thoughts but it didn't work. My mind sifted through various memories some of which made me smile. The trouble we used to get into. The night we first spent together. It was all so perfect then and now everything has changed.

"Ready to rock man." Niall patted me on the shoulder firmly just then one of the dressing room doors opened; some of the hair and makeup team came out hauling their supplies behind them.
"I don't think I can do this man. The second I see her on that stage I'm going to choke."