Love You Goodbye - Harry Styles (Fanfic)

~Leslie~ (14)

3 Months Later...

"Les! Leslie!" I heard Sabrinas voice outside my door as she pounded on it. I pulled up my ask mask and found her bounding into my room.
"Where is your remote?!" She said with such excitement.
"Pardon?" I tilted my head and rubbed my eyes trying to process what was going on.
"For the TV dumbass look!" She flicked over to the news where a large bold headline was streaming across the screen reading, One Direction Announces Retirement.
"Hold on?" I sat up as the interviewer began talking about the announcement.
"Did this just happen?"
"Apparently and look!"
She flipped to a different channel, a talk show, and there seated in the guest chair was....Harry.
"I don't need to see this." I mumbled looking down for a moment.
"Just listen." She smiled and turned up the volume.
Interviewer- So Harry you gave us a small tattoo tour earlier and I was wondering if you had any favorites or if any of them have any deep meaning to you?
Harry- I mean a lot do have special meaning. My sisters name and the birth years of both my parents are definitely important to me. There are some matching ones I got with people that help me remember them.
Interviewer- Can you show us an example?"
He adjusted his hair before smiling lightly seeming a bit reluctant
Harry- Um this vine that I have on my right hand and the memento mori tattoo here on my shoulder those are both matching with someone special.
Sabrina was smiling to bright. I gazed down at the vine of my wrist. It was if I could the words of the latin phrase burning in their place on my right shoulder blade.
"He's an idiot for saying this on TV. What if someone finds out?"
Sab rolled her eyes, "Oh please girl. No one is going to know."
Interviewer- Can you tell us who they are matching with? A friend, family member or maybe even a love interest?
Harry- I think I'll keep the name to myself. Can't reveal all my secrets but um it was someone I was very close to and I lost them. It was loss that hurt me really deeply and the worse pain anyone can go through is loosing someone they love and know will never come back.
Interviewer- Well we definitely are all sorry for your loss. Have you used that grief as inspiration for any songs on this coming up album?
Harry- There has been many songs I have written about people or circumstances in my life. Even back when I was with the guys. Loss definitely can be a divine muse in its own melancholy way.
Interviewer- Very poetic.
Sab turned off the tv screen and began to smirk at me,
"Stop giving me that look." I kicked of the covers before sliding out of bed.
"Oh come on girl. I'm as feministic as they come but you can't deny that was pretty cute."
"It was sappy and dramatic."
"You are so cruel."
"If me being over peoples lies and bullshit makes me cruel then whatever."
"Les your killing me!" She groaned as I went into my closet.
"Not my problem Sab."
"You can't watch that interview and tell me that he is not completely and totally obsessed with you and is regretting letting you go."
"Not my problem." I said again and began to pull out a pair of jeans and one of my black bodysuits.
She crossed her arms over her chest, "Well aren't you the least bit curious as to why they broke up."
I shook my head back and forth.
"Your lying."
"Sab if you are so anxious to tell me then just get on with it."
She smiled mischievously,
"So you do want to know?"
"What I really want is for you to get out."
"Okay okay. Chill. Zayns going into rehab."
"What?" I turned around in shock.
"Right! He had multiple DUI charges and some personal loss in his family made he really depressed he was admitted to the hospital with alcohol poisoning and then it was said he was admitted into rehab and was leaving the band. They all decided to just part ways after that."
"When was this?"
"He got admitted a month ago."
"Wow. Well I am glad he is getting help. He did have a problem but didn't realize it was that bad."
"They are live streaming one of his concerts tonight."
"Who's?"
"Who do you think?" She crossed her arms again.
"Why do I need to know this?"
She shrugged her shoulders innocently.
"Just thought you might be interested in his newest songs."
"Why would I be interested in that?" I snipped back.
"I don't know and don't be defensive."
"Well you are really pushing my buttons Sabrina. You and Madison both have been antagonizing me nonstop about him and I am kinda fucking over it."
She looked down at floor for a minute, "Okay I am sorry. I shouldn't be pushy. You are still coming with us to perform in Chicago right?"
I nodded my head, "Yeah I wouldn't miss it."
She beamed a bright smile, "Great! It'll be amazing!"
I nodded my head again and smiled.
_____________________________________
I don't know what made me do it. What made me type in his name and hit search. I didn't want to know or see. I didn't need to because I was done but when I saw the link I clicked on it anyway. Harry Styles - Dial Tone- Lyric Video. What the fuck was I even getting myself into?

When I close my eyes
I can see a ghost from the past
And it cuts just like a knife

(Im sure it does)

Hate to feel like this
But it happens all the time
Said you never understand me
Don't know who I am

(Because you cheated and left me in dark for fame and someone else)

Tell me I'm just like your father
I'm not the one who caved in
You disappeared without a trace
You never bothered to explain
You just walked away

(I told you I was over. I didn't need to explain that. It was obvious I was done with you. Should I really have stayed when you lied)

All I wanted was an answer
All I needed was to know
Give me a reason
I need a reason
All those messages I left you
All those nights I spent alone

(Im sure there wasn't that many)

Give me a reason
Cause all that I hear is
A dial tone
Dial tone
When I close my eyes
I can feel you breathe down my neck
Now I'm only half alive
And I hate that I miss your smile
But it's only half the time
Now I'm up all night
Got me checking my phone
For the thousandth time
Told me that you
Never wanted
This to die

(I didn't want it to then)

You disappeared without a trace
You never bothered to explain
You just walked away
All I wanted was an answer
All I needed was to know

(You knew what you did was wrong but kept it up anyways. Why am I the villian?)

Give me a reason
I need a reason

(You broke me trust)

All those messages I left you
All those nights I spent alone
Give me a reason
Cause all that I hear is
All I wanted was an answer
All I needed was to know
Give me a reason
I need a reason
All those messages I left you
All those nights I stayed alone
Give me a reason
Cause I wanna hear it
I wanna hear the way you call to me
When you ever needed help

(I dont need your help anymore)

I never thought you be the reason
That I learned to hate myself
I don't care who you love
I don't have nothing to lose
But I just want to say one last thing to you
All I wanted was an answer
All I needed was to know
Give me a reason
I need a reason
All those messages I left you
All those nights I spent alone
Give me a reason
Cause all that I hear is
A dial tone

This is absolute fucking pull shit. I slammed my laptop shut. The reason for you hating yourself. Please if only he knew how much he made me hate myself and made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. It was so stupid. You really want me to feel guilty when you broke me first.