Love You Goodbye - Harry Styles (Fanfic)

~Harry~ (23)

I felt so nervous. I paced my apartment back and forth indecisive on what to wear. I had Liam on FaceTime with as I was giving him a run down of my plans for the day.

"Mate come on you have been walking back and forth for the past 15 minutes your going to start leaving a giant hole in the carpet."

"I just want things to go well."

"They will."

"I really fucked up yesterday. I can't let my true feelings for her show but it's getting harder to keep them in."

"Look I understand what you mean. It was hard for me to restrain myself around Madison."

I turned back to my phone and looked at him skeptically. Raising one brow,
"Didn't you two hookup the first night that you met?"

"I mean yeah but that's not the point."

I huffed lightly before running my hand through my hair,
"What is your point Liam?"

"My point is you don't need to beat yourself up. Everything is going to go fine."

"What if it doesn't?" I looked at him feeling nearly helpless.

He sighed deeply and shifted his gaze away for a few moments,'
"Then you are going to have to let her go man and accept the fact that she's not yours anymore. I know that's hard for you to do."

I gulped. He was right it was a hard pill to swallow at the fact that I still loved Leslie but she doesn't love me and hasn't in a long time.
_____________________________________
I ultimately decided on my cream satin shirt, a loose black tie with matching jeans and boots. And there she was looking as gorgeous as ever in a slim black turtleneck and fitted mini plaid skirt. I felt like my heart was going to erupt from my chest as she smiled and hoped into the passenger seat.

"Afternoon." She smiled and strapped the seatbelt over her chest, "So are you going to give me any idea as to where exactly we are going?"
She raised her brow as as she crossed her arms over her chest.
I scoffed and drug my hand over my mouth, "I wasn't really planning on it."
She rolled her eyes.
"Just relax."
She scoffed, "Funny how that comment immediately gives me anxiety."
"Why can't you tell me?"
I put the car in reverse and started to back up out of the parallel space.
"What if I want it to be surprise?"
She rolled her eyes again. I don't know how she managed to do it in a sensual way but she was and I was trying hard to breathe and lower my pulse. I could feel it spiking.
"Surprises are overrated and exaggerated."
"Well, you may feel differently after today." I was trying my best to stay calm and smooth.
"I doubt that."
I was doubting it. I was doubting everything about today. It was my only chance to show her how much I cared for her. How much I wanted her. That I wasn't the same person anymore and I was never going to leave her alone again.

Our first time was one of the most popular art exhibits in the area. It was famous for one particular collection of works by Vincent Van Gogh which I knew had always been one of her favorite artists. Everything I had now was riding on the idea she had new idea this exhibit was here.
"Here we are." I smiled at her as she tilted her head curiously as she gazed up at the tall historical building. I quickly got out of car and went around opening her door before she could.
"A museum?" She asked curiously.
"Best in the city." I reached my hand out to help her out of the car and she took it. I wanted smile but I forced it back.
"I'll be the judge of that." She snapped her fingers with sass before strutting towards the doorway. God she was gorgeous.
We started with the sections of sculptures both antique and modern before making the way to the halls of paintings. I watched her intently as her eyes trailed up and down each piece with admiration and curiosity. The way her brows furrowed with concentration as she read the inscriptions on the plaques by each piece explaining the history and background.
"What?" She suddenly looked at me with a slightly annoyed expression.
"Nothing." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Your supposed to be looking at the art. Not me."
"People find art in all kinds of places."
She opened her mouth but didn't say anything. Her expression exchanged from disagreement to a sort of warning look. I couldn't help but laugh.
"That was really cringy."
"Awe it wasn't that bad."
"Yeah it was and in terms of where we are right now, okay, the art is on the walls." She gestured towards the multiple paintings in the particular room we were in. It was one of dozens that sat off the main hallway.
I smirked slightly mischievously,
"I'm looking at what I think is important."
Her eyes widened and I swore a saw a slight flush come to her keeps. She pointed at me with her index finger,
"If you keep this up, I am going home." She turned and went back towards the hallway
"Good luck finding a ride." I called out to her.
"I'm fine with walking." She said back before flipping her hair back over her shoulder as she continued leaving the room. It was about two hours into our arrival and we finally made it to the Van Gogh exhibit. The special part about this was the art wasn't just solely on display it was brought to life with a VR. Her eyes lit up at the sight of some of his works but the expression turned to confusion quickly.
"Only four pieces by him. That's so lame."
I nodded,
"Yeah they don't have many out but it's for a reason."
She furrowed her brow.
"You'll see." I nodded again and started walking to a door at the end of the room. When I opened it the room was pitch back.
"What is?" She started to protest backing away from the dark room.
I shook my head side to side and extended my hand towards her,
"Just trust me."
She looked at me skeptically before stepping inside. I shut the door behind us and for it was a few seconds it was pitch back until suddenly the room was filled with light and color. She gasped and I felt my body temperature rise as her hands suddenly wrapped around my arm.
"Surprise." I said a bit sarcastically with a wide smile. Her expression was purely euphoric full of shock and admiration.
"My gosh I hate you." She said still stunned and shoved me in the shoulder before taking hold of my arm again. I felt her fingers interlace with mine as images of Van Gogh's, Starry Night, painting flashed over the room. I glanced at the image for a second but my eyes were solely on her and her smile that was slowly softening into an expression as if she was remembering something bittersweet.
"It's so beautiful." She whispered after a few moments.
I wanted to say something but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything that I wanted to in this moment. I just kept looking at her. Feeling her hand still in mine. Suddenly she pulled away from me. Removing her hand from mine. She pointed at me,
"You have to stop that."
"Stop what?" I asked opening my arms wide.
"You know what. That look. You can't keep looking at me like that."
I moved back over to her closing the space between us. My face just inches away from her,
"And why not?" I said lowly as my eyes stared deeply into hers.
She took a sharp inhale as if she was struggling to catch her breath
"Because it makes me feel uncomfortable." I wanted to say I could see her body slightly shaking but I wasn't sure. She turned around and looked around the room again.
"Les." I whispered her name instinctively. I felt breathless. My chest was starting to heave. She turned back around and I suddenly lost my ability to speak. My eyes flickered from hers and down to her lips. There was too much I wanted to say and much more I couldn't. The room went dark again before lighting up with white LEDs.
"Guess the show is over." She smiled softly, "Guess we should be heading back." I felt everything inside of me drop. The car ride back was nothing but uncomfortable silence. I tried my best to focus on the road but I could see her fidgeting with rings on her fingers as she scrolled through her phone. It was one of her anxious tics. I shifted my gaze from the road to her.
"Look Les I am sorry I"
She looked up from her phone, "It's fine Harry don't worry about it." She looked down at her phone again.
"I wasn't trying to do anything I promise I just."
"You really need to keep your eyes on the road. I'm fine."
"I don't want you to be upset. I have other places in mind that we can go."
"I'm not upset and I don't know if that's such a good idea." I glanced at the road for a second before looking back at her,
"Les I said I was sorry. I know what the agreement was and I didn't mean to fuck it up."
"You didn't fuck it up. I had a nice time I just can't believe you."
"What?"
"I cant believe you when you say that you don't have feelings for me. It's obvious that you do which means that us being friends isn't going to work."
"Leslie I."
"Car!" She suddenly shouted and gestured in front of us to the vehicle that was braking suddenly. I slammed on the breaks my arm instinctively reached out towards Leslie blocking her from flying forward. She was breathing heavily as we nearly avoided the collision. Her hands gripped into the sides of the seats her gaze shifted downward to her legs. It was then I realized where my hand was resting on the upper part of her thigh. I quickly removed it and leaned back in my seat,
"I told you to keep your eyes on the road." I took a slow exhale and could feel my jaw harden. She nearly jumped out of the door when we got to her apartment. I got out a followed after her,
"Leslie wait." But she was already inside. She slammed the door behind her. I tried calling her. No answer. I texted her. Still no answer. This was absolutely perfect.
My next instinct was immediately to call Liam,

"I need your help man. I fucked up again."