Love You Goodbye - Harry Styles (Fanfic)

~Harry~ (33)

I watched the spotlight fell onto her illuminating her body and dress. She had seen me now but what she didn't now is how long I had actually been listening. First from backstage and now here with everyone else. She looked like such an Angel. An Angel that some how was with me. One with so much on her mind and I heart. I don't think I ever realized it,

He said, "Let's get out of this town
Drive out of the city, away from the crowds"
I thought Heaven can't help me now
Nothing lasts forever
But this is gonna take me down
He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad, but he does it so well

(I could see eyes flashing over me to me as she sang the words.)

I can see the end as it begins
My one condition is
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha

(I felt my pulse begin to quicken. As the memories of a few nights ago flashed before my eyes.)

Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha
I said, "No one has to know what we do"
His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room
And his voice is a familiar sound
Nothing lasts forever
(It could.)

But this is getting good now
(And I don't want it to end)

He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad, but he does it so well
And when we've had our very last kiss
(Last kiss...)

My last request is
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again

(This can't be the end of this?)
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ha-ah, ha)
Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha
You'll see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burning it down
Someday when you leave me
(But I said I wouldn't leave.)

I bet these memories
Follow you around
You'll see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burning (burning) it (it) down (down)
Someday when you leave me

(Is she leaving?)

I bet these memories
(I won't be able to ever forget.)

Follow (follow) you (you) around (follow you around)
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again
Even if it's just pretend
(Does she think everything I felt was fake? I thought she learned?)
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again
(I thought she knew?)
Even if it's just (pretend, just pretend) in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ah)
In your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha
Even if it's just stayed in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha
In your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha

As the audience cheered, I felt myself confused as to why I suddenly felt an anxiety in my stomach. She waved to the audience before slowly descending off stage. Why did it feel like she was suddenly saying goodbye? It's been three days since I last saw or talked to her. I wasn't ignoring her. I planned on surprising her hear. This didn't make sense. This wasn't happening it couldn't happen not after what we discussed.  My mind was racing and I didn't want to think or how to feel. We made our way backstage after the show was over. I was trying to push past the odd feelings that were in my stomach. Everyone was smiling and I was trying to smile to. The girls all ran up to her first with Liam and Dylan standing close by suddenly her gaze landed on me. I smiled lightly as she ran up to me, "What are you doing here? I thought you had a press tour?" Looking into her eyes everything felt so real. She was smiling genuinely so why did I feel like this?
"Got done early." She smiled again and kissed me lightly. I wish I didn't feel so numb though.
"I'm really glad you made it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the album sooner."
I forced a smile, "It's alright."
"Okay folks I don't know about you all but I'm ready to party Madison cheered."
"Me too!" Barbara added.
Leslie was glowing and I was trying desperately to enjoy it, "Let me go change really quick and we can be on our way."
She went back into her dressing her dragging me along behind her. I watched her go behind the changing screen in her dressing room. The light behind it illustrated a perfect display of her silhouette. My eyes trailing up and down the shadowy figure as she changed. It didn't take long before images of her came popping into my mind but they became blurred by my feelings of self-doubt.
"Alright." She let out a short breath as she came out from behind the screen.
"Did you get a nice view?"
I realized that I had zoned out, "What?" I questioned lightly looking at her and seeing she had her arms crossed over her chest.
"Are you alright?" She came over to me and ran her hands down my chest smoothing out the slight wrinkles in my loose fitting white collared shirt.
"I'm fine."
She analyzed my face, "You don't look like it."
"Just tired." I forced a smile.
She smiled lightly, "Okay. If you say so. Do you think the dress is too much?" She took a step back and did a slow spin in her short shimmery silver dress. I was only just now noticing it. The metallic color and how one side had a long sleeve and the other a slim strap.
"No." I said slowly taking in every piece of her, "You look beautiful." She smiled warmly and kissed my cheek. Why was loving her so painful and yet so intoxicating?
_____________________________________
When we got to the party all the girls went off by themselves to dance and socialize. Dylan went off to talk to some friends of his. I stuck close to the bar and Liam stayed along side me. I knew that he knew something was wrong. I could see by the look on his face he was onto my act and was going to ask about it the moment we got alone.
"Alright mate spill it?"
I shook my head from side to side and I took my fourth shot of Vodka,
"She's going to leave me Liam."
"What?!" He nearly gasped his face full of shock and confusion, "What are you talking about?"
"That last song she performed it was about us."
"Well I mean obviously it was you two. Her whole album was and so was yours."
"Yeah but mine wasn't a goodbye letter."
"What?"
"That last song was her way of saying goodbye."
"I think your on something mate. I've seen the way she looks at you and I didn't need to be in your hotel room that night to know what happened between the two of you."
I took a fifth shot and shook my head, "That's the thing. I think she regrets it why else would she say last kiss. It was the last time we saw each other."
"Mate, she just kissed you earlier tonight. Your reading to much into it. Or better your reading it wrong entirely."
I downed another shot.
"You really need to calm down on liquor, mate."
"I'm trying to get my mind off of this."
"Well this isn't the way to handle it. Trust me I know." He patted me on the back. I knew he was trying to be a good friend and a part of me knew he was right but I really didn't care right now. Liam eventually left to go dance with Madison. I had more drinks and lost count as to how many I actually consumed. Whatever the total was I was definitely feeling it. I slowly pulled myself up out of the bar stool. Wobbling slightly. I could see Leslie in the corner talking to some random guy. I frowned as she turned away and the guy took ahold of her wrist. I began to stagger towards them and suddenly saw Dylan appear. He stood between Leslie and the guy,
"We don't want any trouble." He said calmly holding his hands up.
"And who do you think your are?" The guy semi-slurred out.
"He's no one." I said flatly coming up to them.
The guy tilted his head in confusion, "It's not polite to interrupt people's conversations."
I got closer to guy and got in his face, "I don't give a fuck what you think is polite. If I ever see you touch her again!"
"Harry." Leslie quickly said my name as she got in between us. She rested her hand on my chest, "Just let it go."
"You might want to listen to the lady pretty boy."
I felt my jawline harden,
"Harry. Your drunk." She said again before beginning to pull on my arm.
"Yeah man don't worry about this asshole." Dylan added and I don't know why I felt suddenly enraged.
"I don't need you handling my fights for me!" He held up both his hands, "Calm down man."
"I don't need to calm down. I'm perfectly capable of protecting her. I don't need you too." I quickly shoved him in the chest and he stumbled backwards. I felt someone suddenly take ahold of my arm. It was Liam,
"Let's not do this now mate." I shook him off and suddenly felt extremely dizzy. The room felt like it was spinning and everything soon went black.
_____________________________________
When I woke back up I had no sense of time. I didn't know where I was. My head was throbbing and it took a few minutes for my vision to adjust when it did. I saw her,
"Am I dead?" I mumbled out lightly as I forced myself to sit up.
"Not yet." She witted back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Guess I should be thanking you for not knocking me out permanently."
"I didn't knock you out dumbass. You blacked out." I held up my hands lightly.
"It's just a joke."
Her face was slightly somber,
"Well I don't feel like laughing."  She walked to the kitchen. Her short burgundy satin night dress riding up slightly as she walked away. Even with the pounding headache my mind still wandered contemplating what she had on underneath it. She came back into the living room with a hot cup of black coffee and a water bottle,
"Here you need hydrate yourself."
"Thanks." I nodded lightly as my eyes ran up and down her figure.
"Don't." She said immediately.
I furrowed my brows together in confusion as I continued drinking the coffee.
"Don't look at me like that I'm mad at you." Her voice was soft and it made me smile.
"I'm sorry."
"That doesn't cut it this time Harry."
"I know."
"I don't think you do." She stomped her foot lightly, "Do you know how many people were there tonight? How many people saw what happened. The media is going to have a field day with this!" She plopped onto the couch next to me her face in her hands. I didn't really know what to do or to say. I slowly shifted my body closer to her,
"Les."
"Why were drinking?" She asked in frustration and lightly shoved me in the chest, "What is with you all of a sudden? You have been off all night. Did I do something to upset you?" I could see her eyes beginning to water and it broke me,
"No you didn't." I soothed while brushing her hair back behind her shoulder.
"Then why were you drinking like that. You know how I feel about you getting drunk Harry. It scares me."
"Hey." I said a bit firmer as she put her face back in her hands to hide the tears,
"Leslie you know I would never hurt you."
"No but you hurt other people Harry and that's practically the same thing. First you take stuff out on others and then you take it out on people you are supposed to love. I saw my dad and mom go through the same things!"
I ran my fingers through my hair in slight frustration,
"Yeah well I'm not your not parents so how about you stop comparing me and everyone else to them." I regretted the words instantly. The look on her face unexplainable. A mix of shock and pain.
"Leslie." She got up immediately and ran into her bedroom, "Leslie!" I said louder while pacing after her. She slammed the bathroom door and locked it.
"Leslie." I pounded on the door, "Baby please. I'm sorry. I know that doesn't help." I pounded on it again, "Please Les, I shouldn't have said that; I know."
"You can't keep saying shit and then apologizing right afterwards Harry, that's not how this works."
I nodded my head slowly, "I know. Just open the door please." I heard the door unlock. A creaking sound occurred as she opened the not just a crack. Not even an inch wide.
"This is all I get."
"Yes." She said back with a slight pout to her tone. I couldn't help but smile,
"You know I love you."
"Well you don't act like it sometimes." She shut the door again,
"Oh come on Leslie." She didn't respond,
"Fine you want the truth as to why I'm upset? Why I was wasted tonight."
"The truth is all I ever wanted." She called from behind the white wood.
"Alright. It's because I'm scared. How about that? I'm scared because I know I don't deserve you and I don't want to loose you again but I can't but feel like you are better off without me. I'm scared because, after your concert, I felt like you were saying goodbye. That you regretted that night." I let out a huff as I ran my hand over my face.
The door quickly opened up, "What?" She tilted her head to the side, "Why would think I was leaving?"
"The last song you sang. It just felt like you wanted to leave me."
"Harry." She said my name softly while resting her hand on my cheek, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? We could've talked about this."
"I didn't know how to and I guess Vodka was easier than the idea of you never coming back."
"Harry." She said my name lightly again her eyes watering, "Why do you always have to be so sentimental?" She pushed me lightly in the chest.
I smiled and placed my hands around her waist,
"I don't know how you manage to be so stupid and so sweet at the same time."
I smirked lightly, "It's really hard to balance."
"Uh huh. I'm sure." She rolled her eyes lightly. I smirked again kissed her twice letting my fingers slip underneath the hem of her dress.
"No." She moaned lightly into my mouth before pulling away, "No. Absolutely not. I'm not rewarding you after that performance tonight. You've been here long enough and your not dying from alcohol poisoning so you can leave."
I scoffed lightly, "Sending a sick man into the cold night air."
"It's 74 degrees."
I chuckled lightly, "Can I see you tomorrow?"
She paused her gaze slightly shifting to the floor before looking up at me,
"I think it is best to take time sometime apart so media will die down."
"Fight was that bad huh."
"We will see in the morning."
"Am I going to get to see you at all before your next show?"
"If you behave yourself maybe."
I laughed as she shoved me out the front door.