Love You Goodbye - Harry Styles (Fanfic)

~Harry~(17)

I sat in the studio, sitting back and I stared at a scrap piece of paper in my hands. My mind was numb and the lyrics were escaping me. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket which broke the last remnants of my concentration.
"Hello." I answered with a sigh.
"Harry?" Liam sounded slightly distressed.
"What's up man?"
"Harry, I fucked up."
"What do you mean? Is everything alright? Is your family good?"
"I'm not with them. I never was. There is something I need to tell you but I know you will be pissed."
"Well I guess you won't know till you tell me."
"Oh trust me I know you and you aren't going to be happy."
"Just spit it out man. I'm in the studio right now. I really need to be concentrating."
"I saw Leslie."
I felt a sudden nauseous feeling come into my stomach,
"You did fucking what?"
"Look it was an accident I didn't know she was coming over to Madisons apartment."
"Madison? You are with her friend Madison?!"
"Yeah, that's what I need to come clean on. We have sorta been a thing the last five months or so."
"Why the fuck are you telling me this now?!"
"Because Les walked in on us. She's really pissed and won't talk to Madison."
"How is this relevant to me?"
"Well she's got a show out here tonight and I am going to see if I can talk to her."
"You need to leave her alone before more shit hits the fan."
"Well I don't want her angry with Madison."
"Liam why are you telling me all this shit? To make it more impossible for me to get her out of my head?!"
"She's still got a bad hold on you eh?"
"I'm done talking about this."
"You need to be honest with yourself Harry....if you love her."
"Goodbye Liam." I got ready to end the call when he shouted,
"Wait!"
"What?!" I huffed.
"There is something important that you need to know."
"And what is that?"
"She's going to be in Chicago mate. The same weekend we are. So whether you like it or not. You still are going to have to see her again."
He ended the call and I found myself full of anxiety. Things just kept getting worse. No matter what I did or how hard I tried not to. I falling for her all over again. I shook my head back and forth as the words came to mind. I began scribbling the thoughts down onto paper before testing some of the lines out with my band. I saw Niall enter the studio as I finished rehearsing the chorus.
"Sounds like it's going to be a real winner." He smiled cheerfully.
"Thanks." I said back but I wasn't smiling.
"What wrongs?"
"Did you know that Liam has been dating Madison?"
"Like the singer that was a friend of...you know."
"Yeah."
"No I didn't. Good for him I guess." He smiled again.
"Apparently Leslie saw them together and she isn't happy."
"Why?"
"I don't know but I can definitely guess."
"Because you two are friends?"
"Most likely."
"Was that all he said?"
"No...she's going to be in Chicago the same weekend we are."
"Oh. Really?"
"I cant go Niall. I can't perform. Not with her there. I know I have it before and I sound like bloody broken record but there's no way I can do this with as much as she hates me."
"I dont think she hates you. She's just hurt. You never were fully honest with her Harry and I don't mean back then."
I raised a brow.
"Look man you can deny it all you want to but we saw the way you looked at her. It's obvious you still have feelings for her."
"Your wrong Niall."
"Oh man." He huffed before lightly before patting me firmly on the back,
"You have literally the woman of your dreams at your fingertips and you won't go for it."
"Because she hates me Niall! I fuck up her life."
"So stop fucking up and stop fucking around."
"If she hates you then make her not hate you. Make her fall in love with you all over again. Let her see you for who you really are."
I shook my head.
"Then your gonna loose her man." He sighed slightly before running his hands through his hair, "Alright answer me this...If she comes out saying she fell in love with someone else. How is that going to make you feel?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "How is it going to make you feel Harry?! It's not a hard fucking question. You are keeping all this shit locked inside of you for no reason. Instead of going after that girl and telling her how much you care about her!"
"What do you want me to say Niall! That I'm a sap. That I'm whipped. That no matter what I do physically, mentally or emotionally she just keeps haunting me. That I will always be in love with someone that I can never have. I thought I was past everything but now I find myself falling deeper into her knowing there is never going to be anything there!"
He smiled slightly satisfied, "So you do love her?"
I let out a large sigh before running my fingers through my hair,
"Yeah, man I do. It's impossible to describe. I thought if I acted like it didn't matter, then it wouldn't. I was wrong. The past three months has had me struggling so much."
"Now maybe Liam isn't the only person that should have a conversation with her?"
"No. No. I can't talk to her. If she sees me near her at all. I know she will kill me."
"Well we will worry about that once we get to Chicago but if the opportunity presents itself, take it and don't let her go again."
He was right. I was in love with her and we needed to talk. I had so much anxiety consuming me about what it would be like to see her again.....The moment I saw her face I knew I was doomed. Her eyes flickering from my eyes and to my mouth just begging for me to kiss her. She tossed her hair to one side as my eyes trailed down her body. The black lace fitting to her almost to well. Enhancing her curves and breasts. I felt my heart pounding louder and louder. My breathing grew thick and heavy as she crawled towards me. Her lips brushing against mine. I couldn't wait anymore. I pulled her face into mine and felt the electricity shooting through me as my lips connected with hers. God I missed this I missed her. My hands trailed down to her hips. I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her harder causing her to smile beneath me. I became entranced like I was under some spell. I needed every part of her. I took capture of every inch of skin along her neck and collarbones. Landing on her sweet spot she let out a small gasp which made me only want her more. I continued kissing her neck until she forced me backwards onto the bed. She lifted herself onto her knees, still straddling me and slowly began taking off her bra. I felt my breath shaking as she tossed the garment to the side and lowered her body onto mine. "Nervous?" She whispered almost as a question and began teasing the skin all around my neck. The tension was growing everywhere inside me. I needed her and have way. She was mine and no one else's. I flipped us over my hair draping down along her neck. She brushed it to the side before kissing me again. "Harry." She whispered my name as I made contact with her neck and chest but I wasn't stopping there. I lifted one of her lean tanned legs into my hand and began trailing kisses along the inside of it stopping just below her center. She gasped again before letting out a soft moan. I switched sides, moving to the other leg, which seemed more sensitive than the other. Her back began to arch against the bed while I reached the spot just outside of her center. I stayed their for a minute. Teasing her. Edging her on; hoping to cause her some equal ounce of agony but nothing would measure to the way she made me feel. The way my body ached for her. The way my mind thought of only her. I trailed kisses down her hip as I slowly removed the lace panties. I couldn't decide if I wanted them on or off of her. I tried as quickly as possible to remove my jeans. It was such a bad time to wear ones so tight fitting. She smiled at me in the angelic way that only she could do. Being with her was so euphoric. It felt like such a fantasy and she had no idea how weak she made me. I kissed her again as I laid my body back on top of hers my eyes closed for just a second exhaling, as I let myself fully enter. Her head rolled back with the immediate contact and I couldn't control the sharp continuous movements my body began to make. I have waited forever for this moment. To be connected in this way again. Something about it felt so spiritual. I could feel the sweat beginning to bead on every inch of my skin as my body temperature rose and my climax came. The sound of her voice echoing my name was pure bliss in my mind and suddenly I was awake. I sat up immediately wiping the sweat off my forehead and arms. I jumped out of bed making sure I hadn't completely messed myself while dreaming. Thank God nothing had physically happened. But the agony was still there the agony of memory. I didn't need to remember that. How would I look at her Tomorrow? This craving had to go away. I didn't know what to say to her but I needed to be prepared for the worst. Even though it was obvious that I wanted and needed her more than anything. I had to prepare myself. I can't blame her for not wanting me back.