"I Just Gotta Get Out of L.A": a Jatt Mpregfic

17) Just love

Josh

In a week or so I will be exactly 5 months along. It's crazy how fast time has flown by since the end of August when Matt and I had sex.

This week is my Christmas performance, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. I haven't thought about what to get Matt yet. I haven't had time to. I have been busy with rehearsals and the set list for the Christmas show. I had a 3-day freak out about the blood test results and cried in Matt's lap because I was too scared to see if my baby would have autism or Down syndrome. I didn't look at the results because having a baby is just love, not for how healthy they are. My doctor let me know that I do not have gestational diabetes which is amazing, despite my diet.  And then, last Friday, Olivia put out a Christmas song about being single on Xmas. Apparently, people are still immature and idiotic haters, they thought the song was about targeting me. I couldn't even go to the mall to buy a gift without seeing a billboard of Olivia's song cover or hearing it. So, no Christmas gift shopping for me.

I would do it the old-fashioned way, and write him a song but I don't have time to. Between the album coming out in February, my doctor check-in appointments, and my performance. I am busy until after February 14th of next year. I also still get hate. I deleted my socials though. It's not enough to stop the hate.

I really miss my parents. They are my #1 supporter besides Matt.

Matt already booked plane tickets to go home to visit family in Arkansas in January. I decided to stay back in Atlanta. I think a plane ride and the whole airport mess is too much for me. I also need to do press meetings and interviews for the album release.

It will give me a chance to be productive without having Matt as a distraction.

He's not a distraction but sometimes he is when he comes to the studio with me.

Today, Matt and I are going to try to go to church since it's Sunday. This week is packed with rehearsals, the performance, and other events so we can't do church on Christmas Eve or day.

Besides, I want to take Junior to church and see if he likes the sound of the choir and organ.

We haven't decided on a name yet. So, I am calling him Junior until we decide.

"Josh, you need to wear more layered clothing. It's only 55 degrees out today and you cannot get sick." I look over towards the bathroom door where Matt is walking out wearing an auburn knit sweater and jeans.

"Yes, mother." I roll my eyes at him since my mood swings have heightened.

"Stop being sassy and dramatic, babe." I watch him lean over for a kiss on the lips before we exchange spots so that I can change and use the toilet.

"Hand me your navy sweater please, babe." I give him the puppy-eye look while he groans in disgust because I keep stealing his clothes.

I have outgrown a lot of mine. Besides, his are XL and more comfy.

"I'm only letting you wear it to church because I love you,"  I watch him stick his tongue at me and let me shut the bathroom door.

During the car ride to church, I check my phone for texts from my family. My sisters spammed me with potential baby boy names, my parents left a voicemail since they aren't the best at text messages, and Sof and Say sent Christmas videos. Oh, and Adrian sent me a demo of his song but I can't share it with anyone.

Before, I hop out of the car to go to service, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, and look down at the text.

There's a link to a video of Liamini pointing to several different stuffed animals in a toy store and at the end of the video she is asking me which one she should get with her allowance for the baby.