𝑈𝑁𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐾𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸

forty-one

In the softly lit therapist's office, Cheyenne sat on a comfortable chair, her gaze drifting to the framed landscapes on the walls. The warm sun illuminated the room. The weight of her past bore down on her shoulders, influencing every step she took as a new mother to twins. Today marked her first therapy session with Dr. Celine, and she clung to a glimmer of hope that this would help her find a way forward. This would be the first step of her healing journey.

Dr. Celine, a compassionate and experienced therapist, sat across from Cheyenne, her expression warm and empathetic. She knew that the wounds from Cheyenne's past ran deep and that her journey to becoming the mother she aspired to be would be a challenging one.

"Thank you for coming today, Cheyenne," Dr. Celine began, her voice soft and reassuring. "I understand that you've been through a lot, and it's not easy to navigate the emotions and responsibilities that come with motherhood, especially when you've experienced such significant losses in your life."

Cheyenne nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The pain she carried, the scars of her past, had begun to shape her relationship with her newborn twins in ways she couldn't comprehend. She thought life would be a breeze after having her babies but it was not.

Dr. Celine continued, "It's important to acknowledge that healing is a process, and it's okay to seek help and support along the way. Becoming the mother you want to be is possible, but it will require self-compassion and a willingness to confront and process the grief and trauma you've experienced. Let's start out slow, what do you aspired to be right now"

Cheyenne's fingers traced the edge of her seat as she wrestled with the emotions that had long remained buried. She thought long and hard about what it was that she yearned for right now. "I want to be a good mother to my children," she admitted, her voice quivering. "But I'm scared that I'll repeat the mistakes of my past or that my grief will consume me."

Dr. Celine leaned forward, her eyes locked on Cheyenne's. "The fact that you're here today, seeking help and insight, shows your commitment to being the best mother you can be. It's okay to mourn, to grieve, and to seek healing. We'll work together to explore your past, your grief, and the challenges you're facing as a new mother. Together, we can help you find the strength to move forward."

Cheyenne nodded her head, taking in her words. That encouraged her a bit.

"Motherhood is very challenging, the best way I could recommend is setting daily goals for you and the twins to achieve everyday and then take it from there."

"That sounds like a good idea." Cheyenne agreed, thinking about it.

"Now let's  dive a little deeper into who Cheyenne is outside wanting to be the best mother. Who is Cheyenne and how was her upbringing?".

"I'm just a girl that lost both her parents when she was a child. A sister too."

"How did you lost your family and how did that make you feel?".

"When I lost my dad and sister first, I was ten years old. My sister was six. I wasn't mad at them because it wasn't their fault when they died. A eighteen wheeler truck lost it brakes and swerved them out the road. That's okay, mistakes happen or whatever". She shrugged.

"Why do you say it's whatever? ". Celine questioned, folding her legs by her ankles and placing the book on her lap.

"Because it's a situation we couldn't control and we obviously couldn't do nothing about it. They were gone. Whereas when my mom died, it's a situation we could've controlled. She could've gotten better and I wouldn't be here today." Chey explained

"What was her cause of death?"

"Suicide. She killed herself in front of me. That was selfish right?." Chey pondered, staring at Celine with raised brows.