Mr. Writer ✔

40

  His lungs were burning and his legs hurt.

    The sun was just barely peeking up meaning it was at least six.

   The past two hours had been a blur to him. He barely remembers leaving the penthouse.

     They were like echos in his head. Words spoken from the past.

   "I'm sorry, but it seems like there has been previous significant trauma which has made it impossible for everything to pass, we have to do surgery,"

    "...he shouldn't have any. He isn't fit for it. He can't commit to a relationship, he can't commit to having and taking care of a child..."

    Felix entered the penthouse, he couldn't even hear Hyunjin calling his name over his own thoughts.

   He didn't even notice Hyunjin was following him to the bathroom, until Hyunjin grabbed his hand, causing him to nearly hit the older.

   Hyunjin caught Felix's wrist before he could actually hit.

   "Felix, angel, breathe. What happened?"

   "I..."

   Hyunjin let go of Felix's wrist and wiped the tears on the younger's cheeks. "Are the nightmares back? You were gone before I even woke... I was worried,"

    Felix breathing was shaky, "Is Viola here?"

   "No, she is with her governess. Wanted to take her out for breakfast before cello lessons. Do you want me to call her back? Is this about Vi?"

   "No. I just... I just need to shower." The younger pulled away.

    "Felix, stop. Talk to me, what is going on in your mind? Help me understand," Hyunjin said softly.

    Felix took a deep breath and a small cry left him, "What if Andrew was right? What if I am not fit to be a parent? I can barely commit to us and I... what if I end up being like Julianna or like Jisung's dad or something?

   I mean the kids we were going to have we couldn't have because of me. Because there was so much trauma that it couldn't happen. There was so much trauma that I had to get it removed. What if that is the world saying I shouldn't have kids?"

     "Angel, wait, wait, first of all you aren't Julianna and you aren't Jisung's father. Second, what are you talking about?"

  Felix sniffled, "There was so much damage that the pregnancy was never viable. It was there and happening, but according to several doctors it never would have worked because of the scar tissue build up.

   We never would have been able to have them because of what happened that night, or because of the car accident, or because of my ex, anyone of those could have caused it,"

   It physically hurt Hyunjin to see Felix this hurt and upset. He had only felt this way one other time and it was when Viola broke her leg.

  "My angel, nothing, I mean nothing that happened was your fault at all. Andrew is a jackass, who couldn't handle the fact that you rejected him, so he said that. I have seen you with kids.

   With Faye, Aries, and Viola, you care for them so much. You just met Faye and Aries and you were ready to come in and help them. Don't doubt yourself, please?"

   "Hyunjin, you have a daughter, you know you can do this. I don't. Sure, I have babysat Minho and Jisung's kids, but that was for a weekend or a couple hours, not everyday and not for years," Felix said.

   "Yes, I have a daughter, but I am still so scared about adopting Faye and Aries. Hell, I still get so scared about raising Viola, because I am scared that one day I am going to lose my temper like my father did with Yeji and I. I get scared of it everyday.

   I know though that if it ever came close to that you would pull me back before I did something stupid. I rely on you, so please rely on me. Don't keep these types of feeling bottled up, talk to me about them and we and a team, as a couple can work it out and if you don't want to tell me about it just yet, just let me know something is going on and that you'll tell me when your ready, okay?" Hyunjin said.

   Felix nodded, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner,"

  Hyunjin shook his head, "You don't need to say sorry, please, there isn't anything to be sorry about,"

   "Okay,"

  "How about we take small bath, we aren't meet Miyeon for an hour, right?" Hyunjin asked.

   The younger nodded, "I love you, Hyunjinnie,"

   Hyunjin pressed a light kiss on Felix's forehead, "I love you, angel,"