Flung out of space

One step closer

"Come, come, whoever you are. wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. it doesn't matter. ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. come, yet again , come , come."
- Jama Eldine Rumi

Karishma's pov (cont):
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Seeing my sleeping Hasee is blissful; to me her face is like a full moon, gives me joy. Even sinking in this grief, I was smiling for no reason. I held her more tightly. I wish I could take all the bad omens that may come in her path. She was hugging me while sleeping, but I couldn't sleep for now, at least for the time she's with me.

The way I lean on her shoulder is not only for comfort but for survival, I've said earlier, she's my oxygen. Right now she's not saying a word, but still, taking my breath away and stealing the things I know. There she is, saving me from out of the cold.

The day when for the first time she hugged me while sleeping, came into my mind.

### FLASHBACK STARTS ###

It was a day in november. oh, now I remember, the day after Miku's fever. I went to her cabin to check on her.

Me: Hi DR. malik !
[I thought she would remind me to call her Haseena, even ask me to call her Hasee, but she didn't 😭]

Hasee: Hey! Karishma, you here?

Me: I have come here to ask how os Miku now? & how are you?

Hasee: Miku's fine now. But I often find it difficult to give him injections. I thought to call you but then I thought it's not right to call you for every issue..

Me: Kyun dikkat kya hai hume call karne mein? hum to free hai na hamesha aap ki liye...

Hasee: Matlab?

Me: Matlab aab aap dost jo hai hamari. Aur yeh dosti to hum marte daam taak nibhayenge. Aur yeh to sara sheher janta hi ki....

Hasee: Ki KS apne waade ki kitni pakki hai...! Ek hi dialogue dete dete bore nehi hoti aap?

Me: nehi, jaise aap anatomy parte parte kabhi bored nehi hoti. aapko na doctor hona chahiye tha! itna kaun parta hai...?!

Hasee: hamari behen, wo bhi itna parti thi.... hamesha. I've never seen her without a book.

Me: parti thi, matlab? aab finally unki parai khatam ho gayi?

Hasee: nehi, zindagi khatam ho gayi.

Me: Kya! I'm so sorry for your loss. kya hua tha unhe? Aur Aap aise itni aasani se kaise keh rahe hai yeh!

Hasee: When you can't feel anything, everything seems to be easier.... Unka road accident mein death hogaya. I was in Wales (UK) back then, doing my PhD. I was not in the city during her accident.

She used to be a very competent general surgeon. She was far superior than me in every aspect, we all used to love her. After my parents' death she was my only guardian.

Me: Sorry. What did you just say? Your parents are no more?!

Hasee: Yes, they died when i was in my year of graduation.
.
My heart ached in her grief. Life has been very cruel to her. She doesn't have anybody. Grief made her this much numb. At such a small age she had lost them. I thought to hug her for consolation but then I thought she might be awkward.

So, I held her right hand & she promptly entangled her fingers with mine in a strong grip. But then she looked at our tangled fingers as if she was not allowed to hold my hands. She tried to untangle but I didn't let her. I held her hand in a strong grip & said, "Dost mante hai na aap hume? Toh bataiyen hume kya dikkat hai?"