This is the first time in this 80-day period I am re-doing my journal for the sake of publishing. I wrote an amazing curse letter with so many dododoo words in that unpublished journal. At least 50 curse words. Now I feel relieved.
I was annoyed today, guys. Everything was annoying. So I wrote my moods without a filter, or maybe with a filter, and that filter is cursing. I never curse people, but today I want to vent my anger. I am treated so badly by the people who surround me. Note: Not my family.
Everyone is putting themselves first, which is not wrong. But not even looking back at the people who might have been hurt by their senseless action is annoying. After being such freaks, they still demand good treatment.
I hate myself for giving them the good treatment they never deserved. I am considerate and caring. Even if they hurt, I still think about them. Their likes and dislikes, their point of view, and their situation which forced them to act in a certain way. I try my level best to act logically and do reasoning in every place possible.
But some people are good at testing our patience. They do all the possible things to make us annoyed. Maybe that's what their goal is.
Let them be. Let's try not to give a damn about them.
But seeing the failure of others, seeing someone in struggle or someone facing hardships to get back on the lost track, is it interesting to you?
Is it really that satisfying to see me struggling?
Okay! Enjoy! Right now, I am struggling. Jump in joy. That's what you want to hear, right?
I am about to quit. I cannot take this anymore. Yes. I cannot. I can't find a way to convince my subconscious mind that I can actually make 1250 dollars.
I am tired, and this phase is literally sucking my soul. I feel drained. I should do something I can control. I feel helpless when it comes to making money.
Let me tell you one thing: Don't be a fish. Because that's how you behave right now.
Not in the mood to say sorry for being rude.
Bye
-AramintaFlores
(Dec. 12, 2023)
Going to sleep at 1.28 a.m.
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