The Devil's Honey

THIRTY-ONE

THIRTY-ONE
🍯Honey🍯

"Mmm, God this is so good!" I take another bite out of my sandwich and then look up to see Rocky and Gianna staring at me with furrowed eyebrows before looking at my sandwich in disgust.

"A chocolate and chip sandwich?" Rocky gags after those words leave his mouth, and I hug my sandwich close to my chest, frowning.

"Have you always liked chocolate and chip sandwiches, Honey?" Gianna questions me in a gentle tone, her face softening as she gazes at me in concern. Sometimes I forget she's over a decade older than me because she doesn't look a day over thirty. I can tell her motherly instincts are coming in.

"Y-Yeah." I stutter. Rocky scoffs at my answer and I send a glare his way. "What?!"

"I've never even seen you eat a sandwich." He shrugs.

"Well, you're not with me twenty-four-seven, are you Rocky?" I retort and he sends me a middle finger.

"So, chocolate and chip sandwiches are not a reoccurring thing?" Gianna asks, giving her husband a warning look, and I smirk menacingly when he shuts up. "Honey?" My eyes shoot back to Gianna who is waiting for me to answer her question.

"No—"

"What the fuck are you eating?!" Xavier gags when he walks into the kitchen, giving the sandwich the same look Rocky and Gianna did only a moment ago.

"Okay, why am I being ganged up on all of a sudden?!" I exclaim, my eyes suddenly starting to brim with tears and all three of their eyes widen. "Leave me alone!"

Suddenly, a daunting feeling washes over me, and I place the sandwich down, not feeling hungry at all. I didn't entirely lie to Gianna. I have had this weird combination before and that was a year ago when I was pregnant.

"Fuck." I whisper, leaning against the kitchen counter with my head down. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"Honey." Xavier's concerned voice enters my ears, but I can't look at him. This couldn't have happened at the worst possible time ever. The last time I lost a child, was because of stress and now with everything going on it could happen again.

"Oh, God!" I whimper, covering my mouth with a shaky hand, wanting to throw up the sandwich I just ate. "No, no, no!" This is bad.

I can't go through this again.

Xavier and I have been too reckless and irresponsible.

A baby now?!

"Honey!" I don't realise I'm hyperventilating until large warm hands grasp my face, and Xavier forces me to look up at him where I see his brown eyes swirling with worry and concern. "Calm down." He tells me sternly but keeps some gentleness in his voice.

"I can't do it again." I whimper, tears spilling down my cheeks. My chest aches and I rub it to try and relieve the ache, but it doesn't seem to be working. "C-Can't breathe." I gasp for air but intake hardly any.

"Honey baby, calm down." Xavier pleads with me, staring down at me with frantic eyes before he is gently pushed aside, and Gianna comes into my line of vision. She's a doctor, so she is probably used to seeing this.

"Copy me, okay, sweetie." I try my best to nod my head and clench tightly onto her hands as she inhales. I do the same, and she holds for a few seconds before releasing. "Good girl. Again." We repeat these three more times until my breathing and heart rate have calmed down.

"S-Sorry. Really sorry." I hiccup, as she guides me to sit down on one of the chairs and hands me a glass of water. When I look to the side, I spot Xavier staring at me with a frown on his beautiful face. I swallow down the water a little faster and avoid looking at him.