Stumbling (H.S. / A.U.)

Chapter 67

TODAY'S UPDATE WILL BE CHAPTERS 66-70!!!

MAKE SURE YOU READ ALL THE NEW CHAPTERS!!!

Wednesday, October 25th

Autumn's POV

I doodle on the pages of my test, because there is no way I will be the first person to turn in my test. So, I patiently wait and hope that someone else will get up and go turn theirs in so I can follow and pretend I just got done.

I know this sounds stupid, and I am continuously the person who has portrayed self-assurance for my whole life, but lately things have turned that around. In the past if you looked up confidence in the dictionary you would find a picture of me, but with recent events my mindset has plummeted a little.

I can't blame Riley, because honestly, things are getting better, but they should have had to 'get better'. Things shouldn't have gone this wrong. I know they say when you get to college you lose a lot of your high school friendships, but I expected Riley and I to survive anything. We have been bestie soulmates since the day we met, and nothing could come between us. If hot ass senior footballer Scott Barlow trying to ask us both to prom in our junior year didn't create a riff, nothing will.

I just miss having her here, having someone to talk to and lean on. I know I am the one that did the dumping, but missing Riley AND Louis at the same time really makes you wanna' drown your sorrows in an XXL order of deep fried Oreos dipped in hot fudge.

Finally a guy two rows behind me stands up to turn his test in. I mentally start my own clock. The countdown from ninety seconds so I don't look like I was totally 100% staging this begins.

Leaving class made me realize just how nippy the fall air had become. Why the damn textile and sewing classes are all in a building with outdoor hallways is ridiculous. They understand we are students who want to dress to impress like a ridiculous New York Fashion Show, yet they deem us unworthy of having central cooling and heat to blossom into our fabulous and iconic versions of ourselves. Haters.

I've been texting Riley to see how living with the boys is going, and how her healing process is. But the conversation has slowed to a point where we sound more like acquaintances instead of best friends, despite the girl time we recently had where we hashed everything out. I can't lose my girl, she's the only one who knows the real me. The me that gets sick of my parents constantly making me feel like I am doing an injustice not falling into their line of work, the me that needs validation through attention because mommy and daddy didn't give me enough, and the me that would kill and die for her because I have felt what life would be like without Riley in it and I hate that.

Autumn to Riley: Plans tomorrow? No. You don't have any. Good. Why Autumn what do you want to do? Well Riley, I am glad you asked. I am coming over with a giant stupid amount of ice cream and we are going to hang out. Wow I cannot wait, yeah I know I am the best.

I slide my phone into the back pocket of my denim levi's and smooth out my cream open stitch TOTEME brand cardigan. I opt for a more professional look in class often, to stand apart from the maximalist designers that seem so popular currently or the 'too lazy to care' ones that roll out of bed and into class.

It helps when mommy dearest supports you by giving you a credit card instead of love, and stocks your closet to the nines with Saint Laurent or Stella McCartney tops that never retail less than seven hundred dollars a piece.

Today was an exceptionally good day though. Not only was I in my favorite sweater, but my hair had started fading out a little more to get back to my corrected blue tone, and it paired perfectly with the thick cat eye liner looker I had applied this morning.