Tattoo || m.c.

71

Mars smiled before pulling the noose over her neck and adjusting it. She was ready to be gone. It was her time and she was okay with that.

Michael could be so much happier with another girl and Mars was giving him the opportunity to. He needed it- he needed to go out and party and find girls and just be free. Michael was never going to stay around her for long anyway. Mars was just speeding up the process.

She wiggled her feet on the chair before sighing and loosening the noose. She forgot about the paper. Mars grabbed the piece of blank paper and the black pen.

Dear family, friends, and my beloved Michael....

I am so sorry that our journey together has been cut short, to all of us. Although, I know I will be happier whatever happens. I am so grateful for all the time we laughed and lived together. Every one of you can be free now. Be free for me.

Mother, I am sorry I couldn't be the perfect child to you. I am sorry for all the hospital bills, the medication tantrums, and the refusal to eat. I'm sorry I never spent much time being with you while instead I was cooped up in my room filled with depression. Please, don't make this feel as if this is your fault. It is never your fault. You gave me all the love and care that you could but I just couldn't let it all in. Some people changed me to the point that I couldn't love as much as I could anymore and for that I am deeply sorry. I want you to smile though. Keep living and find somebody who you love and care for. Have another child, you deserve one that can keep you laughing and smiling throughout your entire life. I love you, mum.

Ashton, Calum, and Luke- I regret not taking enough time to get to know each of you better. You have all been so nice and welcoming to me when Michael and I had started to date. I'm sorry I kept taking him away from you guys, that was selfish of me to do that. Ashton, I apologize that I ruined your high school experience. I know the three of you boys just wanted to have fun and party. I'm sorry I couldn't come and that made Michael not come. I hope each of your can pursue your dreams and become a better person than I was. Please help Michael, I worry that he might do something harmful once he finds me. I am so sorry that I have to inconvenience you, yet again.

Michael, you gave me all the love in the world. I regret that I couldn't take it all in. I loved you to the point that it scared me. As I sit here now and write this letter to everybody I want you to know that I loved you very much. I still love you and I will always love you even though I am gone. I did this to myself because the voice was pounding at me. Even with all your love and the medication, it would never go away. I hope you find me though. I want you to see me one last time before I tell you to move on and be free. Find the girl that is meant for you- it was never me. Please pursue your dream and never stop being happy because you are fantastic Michael Gordon Clifford. You are the best person I could ever think of to hold my last memory with. You made me feel things that I could never have imagined to be held in my heart. You are an amazing video gamer, your a world class guitarist, your smile can brighten up any room, your jokes are cheesy and corny, and your love can fill any person's heart to the fullest. Please take care of yourself before anybody. I don't want to see my Mikey broken.

I couldn't take it anymore. This voice kept coming into this white room and everything it whispered, wrote, yelled, and painted was right. I would never be good enough and I could never be happy. So here I sit on the bed of a place that I don't know of because I may could have been kidnapped but it could also be just a dream. I don't know and it scares me but I have to go away now. It is only right that I leave so I can be happy. Thank you to each person that held a place in my heart, you will always be watched over by me.

With sincerity xx

Mars.