pregnant and alone

chapter 18

Four years later

These past few years has been great. I graduated from college and now my kids are in Elementary school. Every Father's day they would ask me for their father but every time I brush it off. Since they are understanding kids they stop asking until they get another opportunity. Ely went to Italy for the past two years and doesn't know when he will return but we frequently talk on the phone or through e-mail.

"Hey guys go pack your suitcase we're going to grandma's house"

"Yayy, I can't wait to see grandma" Kaiden proclaimed excitedly. They both ran up the stairs and into their room. I decided to go check on them because Julia can go over the top when it comes to packing. I gave each of them a stack of clothes and everything they would need, after that I went to pack my suitcase.

"Hey kids dinner is ready"

"I'm not hungry mom" Kaiden called from his room. I know why he doesn't want to cone eat, he's playing video games and when he's doing so nothing else matter.

"Kaiden I'm not calling you a second time" I heard his foot coming down the stairs and he was mad.

"Are you mad at me"

"No, I'm sorry mommy" he said guiltily.

"You better not because you know I don't tolerate those kind of behaviors now both of you sit down and eat your food" We sat there and ate the chicken salad that I made after that we watched some family movies. Both of them fell asleep on my laps. I shook them slightly to wake up, when they did I led them to their room and tuck them in then I too went to sleep because tomorrow we would have to left at five o'clock since it's a long drive. Also no one knows that I'm coming so it's gonna be a big surprise. Before I sleep I put the alarm at four o'clock so I could clean before I go.

The next day the alarm sound four o'clock and I got out of bed I take a shower and then I went downstairs to clean. At four forty five I awoke the kids then did their room they dress themselves while I load their suitcases in the jeep.

"Julia and Kaiden take akita so we can go" I start the car and we head off. Both Kaiden and julia fell asleep since it was early so I put some music and sped off. At ten o'clock they woke up asking for snacks they ate and Kaiden use the rest of his time playing in his Nintendo.

"Will we see dad there mom" julia asks.

"I think so sweetie" we continue the drive with julia singing to the songs that she knows and Kaiden playing and telling julia to stop singing but she only sang louder.

"Mommy can you tell julia to stop she's annoying"

"Julia can you sing a little lower for mommy please" she listen and sang lower. I was surprise that I still knew the way to the house after six years. We reach the house I got out and ring the bell and Blake came open the door. When he saw us he was so happy that he engulfed us in a hug and then call the rest of the family who came and did the same.

"You guys are suffocating us" I said and they let go.

"You have no idea how happy we are to see you" I mom said happily.

"I miss home too and you guys also of course"

"Let's take your stuff to your room it's still the same way way you left it since I knew you will return" Frank said.

"The kids has also their room" my mom said. They were all talking at once and i just stand there watching them. After settling in we went downstairs to eat.

"So Blake when will I see your girlfriend"

"Whenever you want" he answered with his mouth full.

"How long are you planning on staying" Frank asked.

"Just for the summer, after that I'm going back home"

"Don't you think it's time to stop running away and face your problems" my mom said.

"I'm not running away from my problems. I'm just not letting this bastard near my kids"

"I've seen him Ella he's a change man"

"For you, but for me he's still a coward"

"Who you fell in love with and I believe still love"

"Mom loved, he asked me to abort my kids if I wanted to stay with him. He is just a coward running from responsibilities. I'm not saying that I'm not at fault because I fell in love with him."

"Mommy what is abort" Julia ask.

"Nothing sweetie". If you guys are done eating you can go play with your aunties. They were too happy to go because when it's come to eating they were not volunteers.

"Did you know that he married and has a baby girl, she's two years old and I've seen him with her and he clearly loves her" my mom resume the conversation.

"Yeah her but that doesn't mean he wants these kids and they don't need him either"

"They are his kids too Ella" Frank said.

"They are my kids nobody elses and you guys dont tell me what to do with them you hear me they are mine. I came here to spend the summer with you guys but which will clearly be impossible so don't worry tomorrow I'm going back home " I was mad, frustrated and a lot more of emotions were running through my mind. I couldn't believe my mother would defend him instead of me after all he put me through.

"Mommy why are you crying" Kaiden ask.

"I'm not crying, they are tears of joy of how much I love you guys".

"We love you too mommy they said hugging me. At nine o'clock I sent the kids to bed and went to bed. I lay there, I couldn't fall asleep. I keep tossing and turning but slepp couldn't come. I went to the kids bedroom and sat there looking at them. If I listen to Luke and abort them I wouldn't get to enjoy them now.

I keep thinking all the time. I wasn't really experienced with kids but it happen and I couldn't prevent that it was my fault and not the little innocent creature growing inside me and to just go and abort them. I wouldn't just to do that I would have killed them because aborting kids mean killing them and even though some people consider that like no big deal it is a huge deal for me committing suicide to an unborn child. I would prefer give them in adoption than kill them and today I'm proud I kept them.