pregnant and alone

chapter 38

6 months later

Luke have been going to the court for the past month and sometimes it frustrated me. He dropped the kids to school, Noah at my mom's or his mom's. I have to wake up at three in the morning to cook breakfast, take care of Noah and then leave at four if I need to complete my ten hours a day at the hospital then I go pick up the kids at school and Noah then go home. When I go to work a little later I leave Noah with a babysitter.  I hate leaving my baby with a babysitter but I have no choice. Luke doesn't know though,he doesn't want me to leave his kid with a stranger, he wants me to just be a stay at home wife and mom but I can't do that, I have to work and be independent and not depend on him only. Those past weeks has been really hard on us, with him going to the court over Molina. This whole stuff started again because her mother keeps going to club meeting guys and leaving her with a babysitter. She would come home home waisted with someone and having sex with that person. One day Luke went there and saw her sleeping, Molina watching TV and eating God knows what and the poor kid was in a bad shape. It took everything in order for Luke to not take the kid but he wanted to go to the court so he can have full custody of her. I'm happy for him but sometimes I feel a pang of jealousy because sometimes he doesn't have time for anything but that matter. I know it's wrong because she is just an innocent child caught in the middle of all that.

"Dr Patterson would it be alright if you work over time today" the chief asks.

"I would love to stay but I have a baby at home and I really can't stay"

"I understand, just go home and enjoy your family" I drive to the kid's school and pick them up and then went to pick up Noah. I'm so tired that I'm happy that tomorrow is Saturday and I always took the weekends off  for my family and my health.

"Mommy? What is Valentine's day" Julia asked when we were home.

"It is a day for people that loves each other"

"Like you and daddy"

"Yes baby, like me and daddy. Now both of you go shower and then there is food in the kitchen" I went upstairs, shower Noah and then feed him. He fell asleep instantly after that. I went to take a shower and then lay on the bed next to Noah.

"Mommy can we watch TV when we're done eating"

"Yes Kaiden, close the door on your way out".

I slept all afternoon only waking up a little when Noah stirs on the bed or the kids come knocking asking for something.

I said to Luke when he came home  "How are you?"

"I'm fine it is just that I don't know where everything is going with the case tomorrow is the final decision and I'm scared."

"You are afraid that the judge will take her away again" he nods in agreement.

"How have you been" he asks.

"Good, I'm just tired beyond point and the kids well you know"

"I'm telling you that you work too much" I just ignore him when he said that. He gets up and went upstairs. Noah was sucking his pacifier and the kids fell asleep on the couch. I pick each of them individually and put them to bed after that I stayed playing with Noah who was making me laugh. I never regretted one day about  having him. Eleven pm and Noah still hasn't fallen asleep and I wanted to sleep so bad but I knew it because when he sleeps in the afternoon he will not sleep at night. I stayed downstairs thinking that Luke was asleep.

"You're not letting mommy sleep tonight" I coos at him. His eyes fixed mine like he was reading me. I walk and walk and feed him and finally he fell asleep. I put him to bed and went to bed.

Luke wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"I was just waiting for you" he kissed my neck more demanding now.

"Luke I'm too tired for that today"

"We haven't made love all week Stella please"

"I said no I'm not in the mood" he turns around and turn off his light and we both fell asleep. It is not the fact that I wasn't in the mood because I was but rather the fact that he didn't include me in anything that is going on and I know that if they give him custody of Molina she will come stay with us. I'm just not going to say anything and see if he addresses me.

"Do you want to come with me? today is very important for me and I need you there to support me" he asks fixing his tie.

"Of course" I answered nonchalantly.

We dropped the kids at his parent's where everyone even my family was reunited waiting for the final answer.

After hours of debating the judge asks Luke. "Why should you have custody of the child"

"Your honor I love my daughter and I can't bear to see her suffer I want to take care of her like a proper parent should." The judge nod and write something down.

"What about you Mrs Patterson are you willing to accept another woman's child into your home knowing that she is the fruit of you husband being with another woman".

"Your honor with all due respect yes. I know Molina and even though I didn't birthed her I love her like she was mine. I forgive my husband everything and we just want to move forward like the big happy family that we are and forget all this ever happen" at the end Luke squeezed my hand in reassurance. They ask Molina's mother why she should be the guardian, it would take someone very stupid not to recognize the I don't care fact. The judge gave us a thirty minute break while they debate everything.

"I have review all the evidence and I have decided to give sole custody to........ Mr Luke Patterson. From this day on, you make all the decisions about Molina Patterson and she will visit her mother three times a year for a period of two weeks now good luck and keep the little kid out of all this mess again. Court adjourn" the judge slams the little thing.

Luke pick me up and spun me around in excitement. He took Molina's hand and we exited the building. She was just three and a half after all. She kind of didn't know anything that was going on.

" why are you so quiet, aren't you happy for me?" Luke asked me.

"I'm very happy for you, you wanted her with you for so long" I smile.

"Then why don't you look like it"

"Maybe because I wasn't included in anything"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean everything Luke. Tell me one time that you came home and told me anything. Can you?" We pull in front of the house and we got out. He took Molina out of the back seat and we enter the house. Everyone was happy because they expected Luke to come home with her.

"Grandma" Molina said running to Luke's mother. I took Noah who was fussing when he saw me and went into the kitchen to feed him.

"I included you in everything I was doing"

"Oh yeah, tell me something. How many time have we seated down talking about this precise moment, about Molina. Where she would live how we are going to manage and all that. You didn't even care or had  even a little respect for me to tell me anything when your kid will be leaving with me do you think that's fair of course."

"I thought that"

"You thought what, that I wouldn't mind, that I would just take her under my wings with no questions asked unh that's what you think"

"Are you saying that you don't want her in the house, she is just three years old" Luke yell frustrated.

"Are you putting words in my mouth cause I never said anything like that. All I ask for is a little respect and comprehension".

"Comprehend what, that you don't want my daughter in the house"

"What is going on here, what is all that scandal" we both look at at the spectators at the door. "Were we that loud I didn't even realize that". I was a little ashamed that everyone had heard our conversation.