Abstinence

Preface.

Abstinence

ab·sti·nence

ˈabstənəns/

• the fact or practice of restraining oneself from indulging in something.

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There are six stages for a recovering sex addict, which can take years for recovery. Admitting that you have a problem is probably the hardest step for most addicts to take. Then comes seeking help, which most try to keep a secret from anyone. They become embarrassed by their behaviors and they know they won't be able to make it on their own. They go to the professionals, SAA and SA meetings, and more. As with most addicts, there's the relapse phase where they fall right back into the addictive act. Repair and growth, are the final stages, where the addicts see the positive changes made in their lives.

1, ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

Many don't believe this is one of the true signs of recovery only because there are many people who know they have a problem but don't get help or don't want help. But it is a sign of recovery, once you can admit that you actually have a problem then it is up to that person whether or not they're ready to make a change in their lives.

For Hayden, that was easy. He knew something was wrong with him, but he never knew it would be a sex addiction. At the age of 14, when he lived with Lina Burke's family, he went looking through Timothy's study and he found a magazine. That was the first time Hayden had ever saw a naked woman and the first day he ever masturbated. He kept the magazine for himself and would try to fill his sexual gratification that way.

By the time he reached 15, he didn't want to look through magazines or surf the web for pictures or videos, he wanted more. He wanted to be able to touch a girl and he wanted to have sex. His body craved to be touched by a real woman.

He wasn't very popular with the girls in college, because he was far too young for any of them. The only girl his age that he knew was Lina. He could tell Lina liked him. The way she giggled around him whenever he spoke and did everything he asked. He thought she was pretty and because she would do anything for him, he decided she was going to be his.

Hayden went into Lina's room after everyone falls asleep and removes the blanket from over her. She was dressed in a pajama set, a tank top and shorts. She was lying on her back the same way the girls in the porn videos he watched were. He runs his fingers over his thighs stopping before he could get to that opening between her shorts and her pussy.

Lina wasn't asleep yet so when she felt fingers on her she opened her eyes, "What are you doing in here?" Lina asks Hayden, who was sat on her bed.

"Shh.." Hayden whispers to her, "I just want to try something."

"Something like what?" She wanted to do whatever Hayden asked of her, she didn't really care what it was.

"I want to have sex with you."

"But I'm only thirteen, I can't have sex." She laughed quietly, not wanting her mother or father to know she was still awake.

"Please Lina," Hayden begs, desperate to know what it would be like to be inside of a woman. "It will only happen once and no one will ever have to know. It can be our little secret." He leans forward and kisses Lina on the lips the way he saw the guys in the porn videos and in movies do it. That kiss being both of their first.

Lina blushed, she already liked Hayden and wanted to be in a relationship with him. "Okay." She whispers to him, and that night they lost their virginities.