Abstinence

Chapter 8.

On this special and rare occasion, Hayden is sound asleep beside me, and I can't stop looking at him. It's kind of strange how attractive I find him in his sleep. Maybe it has a lot to do with how peaceful, untainted, and innocent he looks while he's asleep.

Since the morning after my birthday when he called me from jail, our relationship has never been the same. Lately, he's shown me the darker side of him when I thought I already met that person. I thought he was getting better, but from what he told me yesterday, he is anything but.

And this time, I refuse to run from him, I want to work with Dr. James to do anything to help Hayden. I will get advice from Dr. James and follow it to the fullest. He's the only person that knows everything about Hayden, he knows all of his secrets and he's seen the skeletons in Hayden's closet. His advice, especially right now, is critical.

I don't want to fall back into the habit I made for myself of running. I want to stay. I want to stay with Hayden and help him become a better version of himself. He deserves that.

My eyes fall back to his gorgeous, comatose face and I find myself wanting to run my fingers through the dark stubble growing along Hayden's perfectly carved jaw. I'm so glad he hasn't decided to shave it off yet, I like the look of it. He seems older and mature, and even more attractive than humanly possible.

I've been awake for a half hour, thinking and staring at Hayden. He doesn't seem to be waking any time soon. I should make him breakfast. That would be a better alternative than staring at him in his sleep.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I go into the closet finding a baby pink silk nightgown and a sheer robe to wear on top, I put them on before going downstairs.

Now, what to make, what to make?

There's plenty of food in the pantry and refrigerator that he can eat. Since I first met Hayden all he seems to eat in the morning are eggs and meat with pancakes or waffles or toast and a cup of tea on the side with three sugars. I opt on making him french toast, eggs, and bacon, and I will eat oatmeal and fruit.

With the bacon strips already started on the griddle, I start mixing the eggs, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon in a bowl as a batter for the french toast. Dipping the bread into the batter and doing the same on the other side, I place the two in a buttered pan and move on to his eggs and my oatmeal.

The water was already beginning to come to a boil as I beat the eggs in a separate bowl pouring it into a buttered pan and scrambling them up before moving them to a plate with the bacon and french toast, that was cut in half. I mix the oatmeal in the water until it was finished and I move it to a bowl and add strawberries and blueberries, along with butter, milk, and a little bit of sugar.

I make Hayden a cup of Earl Grey tea, while I make myself a cup of coffee. After cleaning my mess, I go back upstairs to find that Hayden was no longer in the bed, and I hurry to check the bathroom.

The door is unlocked and the water is running, when I walk into the bathroom Hayden is standing in front of the mirror, shaving.

"Hi." He smiles looking at me through the mirror.

"Hi." I mutter leaning against the bathroom wall staring at him. I was hoping he wouldn't shave it off so soon. I liked the hair being there. "Why are you shaving?" I wanted to come off as curious, but the disappointment and displeasure was readable in my voice.

He stops shaving just as he reaches his chin. "You don't want me to shave?"

"No," I answer truthfully shaking my head, "but if you must, you should let me do it." I am mostly joking.