Abstinence

Chapter 4.

Hayden swallowed compulsively while staring at the man who's eyes alone can kill him. His father fed off of the innocence and the fear in his son's eyes.

"What the fuck did you say?" His father asked him again, this time slamming all of the papers on his desk. The loud sudden sound causing Hayden to jump slightly.

"I had–I–" He couldn't even form a proper sentence.

"Are you retarded?" Hayden cringed internally at his father's use of that offensive word. "Speak boy."

"I–I–" He still struggled with his sentence. He pauses for a moment and begins to count by threes in his head to calm himself down. Three, six, nine, twelve. "I hadn't mean to say it aloud."

"Who do you think you are to question me on what I do with my wife? You're no one, what I do with her doesn't concern you. Don't stick your nose in places it doesn't belong Hayden, you'll end up getting yourself hurt."

"I saw her crying when I—" Hayden cuts himself off, thinking about what his father always tells him. "Did she do something bad and you had to hurt her out of love?" The naïve and easily gullible part of him wanted to know.

His father shoots daggers through the slim boy, "Jesus, why are you so stupid? It's embarrassing. You don't know what love is."

"I know what love is, it's a strong and deep feeling of affection that you feel towards another person. I love you, and Mum, and Wes–"

His words were cut short by a loud sound, a ringing in his right ear, and a sting on his right cheek. His hand reaches out to touch the affected area when he realized his father had just slapped him in the face. And it hurt.

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Hayden only spent four nights in jail but his beard was already growing in like he had been in there for weeks. He looks older with his dark stubble on his chiseled chin, older and so attractive. I don't know what it is about a man with a beard and in a suit.

Before his hearing, he had to change from his jumpsuit into a fresh suit and the handcuffs were taken off, as if he were never in jail in the first place. I tried to memorize every feature on him because there is a strong possibility that Hayden may not be set free today. There is a possibility this will be the last time I get to see him free and in a black suit rather than an orange jumpsuit.

We were awaiting the judge's decision whether to let Hayden out on bail or to deny his bail and keep him locked away until his court date. With Reign by my side holding my hand to the point where my bones would break, I wasn't all that nervous for the results. I was nervous, but I think she was more nervous than I was.

I studied the people in the room, the judge, the media coverage, other lawyers sitting behind me and on the other side, the DA, Reign, Wesley, Collin, Ryder sat all the way in the back behind swarms of people taking up the space, Robert (Hayden's lawyer), and Hayden. So many people were here, just for this hearing, I don't want to know what it would be like during his actual trial.

Every one's behaviors were different. Hayden was sat with his elbows on the table and his index finger trailing across his lip. Robert was anxiously running over his middle finger with his thumb and index finger. Wesley was playing the the end of his hair. Reign was squeezing my hand like her life depended on it and chewing on her lower lip. Collin was tapping on the bar in front of him repeatedly. Ryder, from all the way in the back of the room, was blank. He held no emotion. And I question why he's even here in the first place.