Abstinence

Chapter 13.

"Wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn, you're a little late, I'm already torn..."

(James TW - Torn)

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I've been pacing back and forth in the room waiting for Hayden to come back. I have to tell him that his father came here and something terribly bad is going to happen. I don't know what's going to happen but I need to tell Hayden. He is the only one who will know what to do.

I find myself taking Damon's words to heart, it's going to be my fault. It can't be my fault, I didn't do anything except speak the truth. Hayden doesn't owe Damon any favors, Damon did absolutely nothing for Hayden as an adolescent except abuse and abandon him. If he wants to be repaid for that he can go rot in jail until his cancer takes his life. Hayden has everything, business wise, that he needs. His father's business is going to do absolutely nothing for Hayden.

Not only are they in two entire different fields of business, Hayden doesn't want to be back here in England. He has built his life in Seattle, with both good and bad memories. He's not leaving and Damon can't expect Hayden to drop everything for him.

An emotionless Hayden steps into the room and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in when I hastily scan over his entirety. There are no apparent bumps or bruises found anywhere on him, just a folder in his hands. He tosses the folder on the desk taking his jacket off and with quick steps, he strides towards me, cupping my face and crashes his lips to mine roughly. If it weren't for me being caught up in his lips and his mouth, I would have backed away from him as a result of the pain.

He's hiding his true emotion by trying to be unemotional. But I can see straight through it, he's livid and if it's anything like before he's not going to tell me why.

His lips move fervently against mine, his tongue not waiting for permission to enter my mouth before pushing past my lips, his tongue lapping around mine in a heated passionate dance. Even through the roughness, I don't want him to stop kissing me.

I can take some roughness and it kind of turns me on a little more than gentleness. But sometimes with Hayden, his roughness turns into aggressiveness and anger. That's the kind of roughness I can't and won't tolerate.

His kiss and his breaths slow down at the same time. His lips were moving at a normal paste now, and his chest wasn't beating as hard against mine as before. He's calming himself down and I take this moment to pull away from his mouth, leaving a single peck to his lips. "How was it?" I wanted to know.

"I don't want to talk about it right now Alice. Let me–" He pauses, shuts his eyes and reopens them. The wild look in his eyes is replaced with hooded eyes. I don't know which one I prefer over the other, wild or hidden? "I want to make love to you, I want to lose myself in everything that is you. Please?"

"Just for tonight Hayden I am yours, whatever you want from me I will give to you." I realize I am doing exactly what Dr. James advised against, but I want to do this for Hayden. Everything that's going on is out of his control and he's losing himself. I want to remind him who he is. He is a dominant, a master, who always finds a way to work everything out in his favor. He's put together and I like him that way.

His tense broad shoulders dropped a little when I spoke. "Take off your clothes." He orders me, and I quickly oblige. Lifting my shirt over my head I throw it somewhere behind me followed by my jeans.