Mini-Kogie?

Road Rage because of Instructor Smith.

Not only was it hard to hold in your laughter while filming Hat Films and their Coke sketch, but it was also hard to be learning how to drive while under the instructions of Alex Smith without not wanting to kill him.
Yes, Alex Smith was teaching me how to drive.
Who the fuck knew he was qualified to teach people how to drive? I fucking didn't!
I had gone up to Jonathan, telling him I really wanted to know how to drive in time for my eighteenth birthday, which was that month. I learnt it was actually a day after Kaeyi's. He was a bit wary at first, seeing as when it wasn't a taxi driver driving me, I had been in a car crash. I managed to persuade him to allow me to have driving lessons, as long as I promised I'd never get in the same car as Tom Bates ... Jonathan hadn't forgiven him. Yes, Jonathan had said it wasn't the trucker fucker's fault, but Jonathan secretly blamed Tom.
He said he'd try and find a place for me to learn how to drive. That very day, Hat Films had kidnapped me and had questioned me if I really wanted to know how to drive.

"Well, you're in luck!" Ross said.
"Why?" I asked.
"This ginger bastard is fully qualified in teaching others on how to drive!" Trott exclaimed, jumping into Smith. I motherfucking shipped it.
"... but you worked in McDonald's at one point. How could you -? Never mind," I muttered.
"So, d'you agree in me teaching you?" Smith asked.
"Yeah, I'll make you suffer if you're up to it," I shrugged.

Whatever possessed me to agree to it, can fuck the right off!
"You were supposed to turn left!" Smith exclaimed.
"I couldn't turn left BECAUSE IT WASN'T ALLOWED! READ THE FUCKING STREET SIGNS, ASSWIPE!" I hollered at him.
"Slow down!" he shouted as I went up to fifty by accident.
"The acceleration is too touchy!" I shouted back, clenching the steering wheel, very pissed off. We were also in his car, which didn't seem to agree with me. During the time I had known him, he had bought a car.
"Hands at ten and two," he added, writing on some check board thing he had.
"OK, fuck off," I said seriously, scowling down at the wheel as we got to a stop sign.
"Turn off there," he started, pointing to a street. "and we'll restart," he finished, sighing deeply.
"I'm gonna kill Jonathan," I muttered, leaning back in the seat, cracking my back.
"You're not the only one," he sighed.
"Shut the fuck up," I groaned, rubbing my face.
"Well, you should be more patient!" he told me. I glared at him and he led his arms up in surrender. "See, guys? This is why you should never piss Kitty off," he said to the camera.
Did I forget to mention? Ross thought it would be a great idea to record it ... what an asshole. I was gonna kick him in the balls when I next saw him.
"OK, so go into first gear and keep your foot on the acceleration a little and press down then change into second when you get going a little," Smith said when we had finally calmed down.
"Fine," I muttered, changing gears and sped up a little.
"Slow down a little," he murmured as we got to a turning. "Check your mirrors," he said.
"I am," I said, slightly irritated. The windows were down because it was quite warm. I turned the corner and a dickhead decided to try and swerve past me, making me slam the brakes down, both of us lurching forward. Thank God for seatbelts.
Let's just say, I caught up to him quite quickly.
"OI, knobhead! You could see where I was driving, there wasn't any fucking room, wanker!" I shouted at him, then realised the windows were down and he had heard me.
"Youth of today," the old fart muttered. It was a guy in his late forties, balding and looked rather grubby.
"Ha! You seem to forget who fucking raised it!" I retorted, then began to drive as the lights had turned green. "Fucking dick," I muttered.
Smith had lost it and was howling with laughter.
"Holy shit, Kitty!" he breathed, trying to stop laughing.
"Old fucking fart," I grumbled, trying to concentrate on the road.
"I fucking love you," he giggled, tears streaming down his face.
"Yeah? Love you too," I replied, biting back a smile.
"I hope that was caught on the camera," he said. I chuckled a little and turned left, making sure I was in the correct lines. "You're doing surprisingly well," he said.
"I guess I needed to rant at someone else besides from you," I shrugged.
"You might've guessed right," he murmured, ticking things away on his board.
After a while, I had begun singing Knightmare/Frame under my breath because I was bored.
"You having fun there?" he asked.
"Uh-huh," I answered, making a correct U-turn.
"Well, how's about we go to YogTowers and you can try and reverse into things one without crashing and owing people money," he suggested.
"Don't fucking jinx it!" I stage-whispered. "Um ... which way is YogTowers?" I asked, now lost.
"Shit."
"ARE WE FUCKING LOST?!" I screamed, pulling up on a path, no double yellow lines in sight.
"Kinda," he admitted.
"FUCK!"
"Language!" an old woman scolded as she walked past.
"English," I retorted sourly.
Old people hated me. The feelings were mutual.
"Do we have the satnav?" I asked him, sounding a little calm.
"... No."
"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I yelled, exasperated.
I rolled my eyes and made a U-turn and went back up the road we had gone down.
"If ever you or the other two guys suggest you give me driving lessons ever again, I'm gonna shove the lessons up your arses." I threatened, clenching my hands on the wheel.
I saw Smith look a little worried, then compose himself. I couldn't help but grin.
"Does any of this place look familiar to you?" Smith asked. I glanced around and sighed.
"Little bit," I answered, turning right and shifting gears. Man, driving was way harder than it looked.
"Well, if you manage to get us back to YogTowers, I can safely say you will pass. All you'd need to do is answer the written questions." he said.
"Will you help me on that?" I asked as I saw a sign that might be potential in leading us to YogTowers.
"Sure," he said, then put both of those sun-blocking-things down as the sun came out from behind a cloud.
"Oh, you're fucking kidding me? Fuck you," I hissed, braking as we got into the traffic. "Fuck you," I mumbled, double flipping those in front of me off.
"Oh, great," he sighed, slumping down in his chair.
"Text the guys and tell them we're stuck," I said.
Silence.
"You do have your phone, right?" I asked, turning to look at him. He smiled sheepishly. "Smith, you fuckbutt," I said, I went into my pocket and smiled gratefully when I saw my phone was on ninety percent. I typed in my password and brought up my contacts then handed them to him.
"Why can't you do it?" Smith asked.
"Eyes on the road, fucker, eyes on the road," I said. I saw him roll him eyes as he scrolled through the contacts.
"OK, Ross and Trott are actually spamming you, saying they ship it like FedEx." he told me I half smiled and shook my head slightly.
"I just told Hannah and Kim, telling them from your point of view - or how I imagine it is - and they're fangirling," he told me.
"I'm gonna regret asking this, but what're they saying?" I asked.
"'Omg, Mini, I can't even' that's from Kim. 'I ship Riffy/Rolex/whatever-it-is! Mini, the feels are too real!' That was from Hannah. Ooh, Kim says 'don't get too saucy, Mini, I know Smith's hot, but hold it in'," Smith said and I frowned. "What?" he asked.
"Kim said she knows 'you're hot'," I said, air-quoting the two last words. I moved forward as the traffic moved. "I always thought she was horny for Hornby, but I guess I was wrong." I said, braking as the traffic stopped. Smith was blushing and spluttering a little, making me grin.
"Is that all you heard from the entire thing?" he asked and I nodded.
"I now ship Kiffy like FedEx," I told him. He facepalmed and rolled his eyes.
We fell into silence after that and I sighed, occasionally having to stop and start moving when the traffic moved.
Sighing I sat up a little and spoke, "Y'know, whenever a traffic jam happened, I never saw what actually caused it,"
"Same here, like what actually happened? Or were there just a load of trolling drivers?" he asked, I smiled and nodded.
"Hey, is this thing still on?" I asked, pointing to the video camera.
"I dunno," he said, then checked it. "No. Lemme put it away." he said then put it away in a bag behind our seats.
After about ten minutes, we saw an opening - we fucking went for it.
Turned out, that was one of the best moves we made all day.
We ended up going down past the town centre, past his flat, and before we knew it, we were at YogTowers.
As we got into the car park, another asshat had almost crashed into me.
"ASSHOLE!" I yelled as we both lurched forward as I slammed my foot on the brakes ... again.
"Sorry!"
Fuck.
It was Tom Bates.
I groaned and rest my forehead on the top of the steering wheel.
"I swear, I'm gonna wreck his car so there's no more crashes." I told Smith who grinned at me, rubbing his shoulder as the seatbelt had dug into it.
"I think I might just help you," he said and I looked over at him and smiled.
"Hey, I'm so sorry!" Bates said, coming up next to my open window. I gave Smith an exasperated look before turning to Bates.
"Dude, it's OK, no harm done, just watch where you're going, OK?" I said.
"You sure? Uh, OK, yeah," he said then went back to his car, and soon left the car park.
"Well, that happened," Smith said.
"Yeah," I muttered, then went to where Bates was parked.
"Try reversing," Smith suggested.
"Oh, fuck," I sighed. "OK, so drive up so in line," I said to myself, checking the rear view mirror and the wing mirrors. "Is that OK?" I asked, glancing at Smith, who nodded. I changed gears and went into reverse, backing into the space. "No, the space isn't big enough, I'm gonna crash into the cars," I said, wincing as I braked, shifting gears and moved forwards again. "Quick question, which way do I turn this fucking thing?" I asked. Smith checked the mirrors and turned his head back to see.
"Uh, turn it right," he told me, I gave him a worried look. "trust me," he added, seeing the look on my face.
"Ugh, why do I do this?" I asked, changing into reverse and backed up. "Tell me when to stop, please," I added, looking at the cars in either side, making sure I didn't scratch or crash into them.
"OK - whoa, stop," he said and I braked.
"If I damaged your car it's your fault," I said immediately.
"Well, I don't think you hit anything, so we're good," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.
"Finally," I muttered, putting the handbrake on.
We got out and went into the building, Turps buzzing us in on the intercom.
"What're you doing tomorrow?" Smith asked as we got into the elevator.
"Editing, eating, something else beginning with 'e'," I replied, looking over at him. "You?" I asked.
"Recording, raging, something else beginning with 'r'," he said, I half smiled and rolled my eyes, pushing his arm a little.
"Wanna go over the content with me?" he asked, holding the camera out in front of us.
"Er, sure," I said, taking the camera out in front of him.
"Wanna make a grand entrance?" he asked me. Frowning a little, I nodded. He grinned, "Get on my back," he told me.
I didn't bother to question him, so I jumped onto his back, feeling a little nervous as he held my legs. Well, I could've always choked him to death.
The elevator doors opened and he ran in, screaming all sorts, not seeming bothered there were some red lights on, indicating people were recording.
"SMITH!" I yelped as he jumped and I clung onto him, scared of falling.
"I won't drop you." he reassured me.
"Thanks, love you," I said, my head getting buried in his hair a little.
"Yeah, love you too," he said, hoisting me up a little on his back.
Kim came out from the kitchen, let out a squeal, and made a beeline for Hannah's office. "Shit, let's go to my office," he said and walked to the large room.
He had difficulty in opened the door. In the end, I had to open the door for him and kick it shut as he was too busy holding me up to do either of those things.
"Took you long enough," I heard Trott say from behind his divider.
"Too busy banging probably," Ross said to Trott.
"No, we went out and banged some hookers, then killed them and stole their money, and ended up being stolen by an elephant," I said. They both poked their heads out from their dividers.
"Go on," they urged.
"Well, the elephant took us to his secret hideout, which had a load of peanuts and pictures of Africa. We smuggled the elephant to an airport, he didn't want to go alone, so we had to go with him. There was a bit of sexual tension, which Smith stopped by making the elephant fuck some sex toys he found in a suitcase. In Africa, we let him go and we saw him begin to bang a lady elephant. The Doctor then came and we went and stopped Daleks, Cybermen and Slitheen taking over the world by throwing salt and water on them. Smith also made them all explode. We also stopped the dogs taking over the world because no one wants a load of bitches in charge and then the Doctor dropped us off outside, telling us to not blink." I said.
"But, you were only gone for a few hours. How -?" Ross asked, confused.
"Wibbley, wobbley, timey-whimey stuff." I told him seriously.
"Right," Trott said, looking at me as if I was loony. They both went behind their dividers and Smith dropped me onto the sofa as he grabbed a laptop and sat next to me as I handed him the camera.
I ended up leaning against Smith, half laid on the sofa, his jumper on me because I was cold. I watched as Smith edited the video, sometimes putting in things and editing things when he couldn't. I had also kicked Ross in the balls rather unexpectedly. He wasn't too happy with it, but knew why I had done it. He was a bastard anyway, it was about time someone kicked his balls in.
About five minutes ago, Trott and Ross had left, claiming they needed to go piss. Smith had taught me the things I'd need to know for passing the written part to the driving test and was checking it through.
"I really enjoyed today," Smith spoke after a while.
"I did too," I said. He wrapped his arm around me and I shuffled a little and rest my head now on his shoulder, instead of his arm.
"We should do that again, just me and you," he said and I nodded, curling up a little. I felt his hand slip into mine, gripping it tightly.
"Agreed," I said. "Only, without the camera," I said. I felt him kiss the top of my head and I felt the blood rushing to my face. I looked up at him and I saw he was blushing slightly. Biting my lip slightly, I looked up into his eyes, seeing something in his eyes I didn't recognise. He pushed the papers to the side and felt myself blushing more as he put a hand on my cheek.
He began to lean in, his eyes closed. I could feel myself doing the same -
CRASH!
We jumped apart as Trott was being carried bridal style by Ross. Both yelling loudly, Ross took Trott to his part of the room, Ross sitting in his. Ross looked at me, then back at Smith. Ross gave me a look and I flipped him off.
"I think I'm gonna go find Kim, try and get her to calm her inner fangirl," I stated, getting up, stretching a little.
"Yeah, then she'll attack me," Smith said, I looked down at him and saw something different in his eyes - annoyance? Had I annoyed him?
"Probably," I said, rubbing my eyes a little. "See you," I said, leaving the room.
I hadn't gone fifty steps away before I heard someone running up to me.
"Rosie, what's happened?" Ross.
"Nothing," I lied. He had a bottle of water in his hand and was giving me concerned looks.
"You serious bullshitter. Spill," he said.
"Fine," I said, hitting his hand so the water fell out of the open lid. "I spilled that," I said, then turned on my heels and made my way to Kim's room. Luckily, there was no red light on and she was in.
"Hey, Mini - what's wrong?" she asked, her happy aura changed immediately.
"Smith and I, we almost kissed," I admitted.
"Then why aren't you happy?" she questioned softly, allowing me to sit on her desk.
"I just ... I'm not very good with boyfriends," I said, sighing.
"I'm pretty sure Smith'd like to be your boyfriend," she said, wiggling her eyebrows a little.
"Still, I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship," I said. She stayed silent so I could speak. "I mean, I've kissed a few people after my past relationship, but I don't want it to be like my last one," I admitted.
"What happened in your previous one?" she asked. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she added she I was quiet for a moment.
"Nah, it's OK." I reassured her. "It kinda sucked ass. He was kinda possessive and had some anger problems," I told her. "Sometimes I would be scared and he'd not be bothered about it, but sometimes he was nice and sweet. When I look back at it now, I can see how bad the relationship was, how he was possessive and a downright cunt. But back then, I thought it was like all relationships; near the end, I kinda figured out that he was being a dickhead and tried to leave him multiple times, but it normally failed at working."
That felt nice to get out in the open.
"So you're scared you'll be in another relationship like that?" Kim asked.
"I suppose so, yeah," I said, looking up at her as I'd been staring at my converse.
"Trust me; Smith will never do anything that'll hurt you. Damn, he loves you too much." she told me.
"People I love tend to get hurt," I whispered.
"What d'you mean?" she asked. "Honey, don't cry," she said, alarmed when the tears began to fall to their own accord.
"I kept hurting Jonathan, I hurt Leo, I'm disowned by my parents, I've probably hurt Sparkles*. I don't mean to hurt people, but it feels like all I do is hurt them." I whispered, my body shaking as Kim hugged me. "I don't wanna hurt you guys. I don't wanna hurt Smith."
"You could never hurt us." she reassured me. She was actually stood up, only just managing to be taller than me sat on her desk.
"Thanks, Kim," I said.
"It's OK; it's what friends are here for, right?" she said and I smiled and nodded.
Kim was awesome.

(A/N: HOLY FUCKBUTTS, ALMOST 3K!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE READS, I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! It's almost sad to say that we're over half way through this story. I hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry about the delay, I've had an operation and a holiday and work and life is a butt. Thank you guys so much for the 2K+ reads, you guys don't know how much this means! Sad to say that all the chapters are down, they just now need to be written. I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!)