Mini-Kogie?

Embarrassed, Threats and Blood

I had pulled away from Alex just in time as Kim had opened the door the next second with a somewhat smug look on her face. Before either of them could do anything, I got up and left.
I faintly heard them calling my name, but I went into the Editors' Room and grab my bag, telling Turner I was going home early because I wasn't feeling too good. He simply nodded and said he'd cover for me. I told him my thanks and left the room.
When we were stuck in there, after the kiss, his arms around me as we thought about what happened, I realised that it was a mistake; I shouldn't have done that! What if Zed found out? What if Alex was badly hurt, maybe even killed, because of it. There was always the chance I could be overreacting, but it was Zed - he always found out somehow.
I bumped into Beckii and asked for my phone. Confused, she gave me my phone and I thanked her, leaving her in the hallway as I made my way towards the elevator.
That kiss ... I couldn't believe I let it happen. I both regretted it and didn't at the same time; I was scared Zed would find out and then we would both be in trouble, most likely killed. Then I thought of how Alex makes me feel and I didn't regret it at all.
I made it to the elevator and pushed the bottom floor button, not looking behind me as I heard Alex still calling my name.
The elevator came and I got in, hitting the ground floor button and the close doors button at the same time, a little life hack to skip the other floors I learnt one day when I had pressed the buttons by accident. I didn't look up when I hear Alex who could only be a few feet away from me as the doors shut.
My phone vibrated and I unlocked it, feeling my heart stall momentarily.

UNKNOWN: I will find you. Nothing can stop me

UNKNOWN: I will leave them alone if you leave. But it depends if Alex Smith fights you to stay.

UNKNOWN: Think wisely on your choices.

UNKNOWN: It would be a shame if Simon, Kim and Hannah were to be hurt. What's their name? Hakimon? Sikiha?

UNKNOWN: And Katie, Beckii and Parv. All of whom will regret ever letting you into their lives. You know it. They'll all hate you, bringing me into their lives because you were too stubborn and stupid to come with me when we were at Comic Con.

UNKNOWN: If you find yourself close with someone, I WILL know about it, and they shall pay with more a bruised body.

UNKNOWN: You saw how easy it was for me to find you guys. Just think on how easy I can find your brother, that cunt you sold yourself to and the ginger prick - who deserves more than the beating he got.

UNKNOWN: Just have a little think about that.

I breathed out shakily as I read the texts.
Fuck.
Once the doors of the elevator opened, I walked out, pulling my hood up and made my way home, tense and shaking.
Should I listen to Zed? Leave them like I had planned or stay and hope Zed will get his comeuppance eventually and hope no-one got hurt.
Or ... no, I couldn't do that.
Could I?
If I killed myself, maybe Zed wouldn't hurt them any more. Would it make it worse on them?
Why was I even contemplating this?
I needed my brother. I needed Jonathan.
When I finally got home, I locked the door and checked to see if Jonathan or Leo were in - they weren't. Twisting the lip piercing, I wondered what I should do. Should I phone Jonathan? Or was he too busy, I mean, he and the band are having a little struggle with the album and were trying their hardest. Surely me adding additional trouble with Zed would be too much on Jonathan. But Jonathan did say that I could always count on him.
Fuck it.
I pulled my phone out and dial Jonathan's number.
It rung for several seconds before he picked up.
"Hey, Rosie, what's the problem?" Jonathan asked cheerfully, music being played in the background.
"Zed."
"Are you at home?" All his cheerfulness had vanished instantly. He sounded so serious and it was sort of strange of Jonathan to be so serious.
"Yeah, um, I left YogTowers early and he had been texting me." I admitted.
"OK, I'm on my way. I'll be about an hour, OK?" he asked.
"Yeah, OK. I'll keep the door locked and make sure I don't answer to anyone." I said.
"That's my girl." Jonathan said.
"Uh, Jonathan?" I asked, hoping he hadn't hung up.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too." he replied. I hung up and sighed, looking round.
I was such an idiot.
I went into my bedroom and searched my drawers for the little 'friend' I have used on previous occasions.
No, it wasn't a sex toy.
I found the blade and gripped it in my hand. I sat down on my bed and pulled up my sleeve, the scars from where I had previously tried to commit suicide (when Sparkles* had bandaged up my arms) were faded, but still noticeable if you looked hard enough. I held the metal against an old scar and sighed. I pressed it hard against the skin and dragged it across my arm, hissing slightly as it stung a little. I pulled the blade away, watching the blood come up in spots along the line I had created. I was horrified with what I had done.
It didn't stop me though.
I continued to cut myself, slowly getting deeper, watching the blood drip down my arm, onto the carpet, which I no longer cared for.
"ROSE!" I jumped as I saw Alex in the doorway.
"What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?" I demanded, now infuriated with Alex.
"I came to talk to you! Why are you doing this to yourself?" he yelled, pulling me up, looking at my now bloody arm.
"If you didn't get it, I didn't want to talk to you, that's why I left YogTowers! I can do what I want; I'm an adult, remember? Now tell me how you got in!" I shouted.
"Beckii gave me the spare key. I wanted to talk to you. I don't care if you're an adult or not - you can't do this to yourself!" he exclaimed. "Rosie, you told me you love me - if you love me don't do that." Alex begged. I looked down, wiping the blood off my arm with my sleeve "Let's clean you up," he sighed, taking my arm. It kind of hurt, the pressure of his grip causing blood to seep through my sleeve slightly.
"Get off me!" I hissed, pulling my arm out of his hand. I pulled my sleeves down. "Get out."
"No." he said stubbornly.
"Fine. Get out please?" I asked, my head tilting to the side slightly.
"Still no." he said stubbornly.
"What's going on?"
Shit.
Jonathan.
"He won't fucking leave!" I exclaimed, giving Jonathan a look that asked him to get rid of Smith.
"Because I don't want you to kill yourself!" Smith shouted. I gasped and turned to look at Smith.
"WHAT THE HELL?" I yelled angrily.
"What's he talking about?" Jonathan asked. Smith grabbed my hand and began to pull my sleeve up. I yelled out, trying to get my hand out of his vice-like grip. I stopped struggling when my sleeve was pulled back, blood smeared across my arm. I hung my heard in shame when I saw the look on Jonathan's face when he saw my arm.
"Smith - leave." Jonathan hissed.
"Seriously?" Smith asked, shocked at the fact Jonathan had told him to leave. Not that I'm surprised of course; I expected Jonathan to ask Smith to wait while he and I had a shouting match.
"Leave!" Jonathan snarled, glaring at Smith.
Smith gave me a look and I held my arm in my other one. He left and I looked up at Jonathan.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, coming and pulling me into a hug.
"I'm sorry too," I mumbled, hiding my face in his neck.