Love me not?

Dream and A ring

JJ POV

I've been isolating myself in Spence and I bedroom for nearly a month. Only leaving for food/water, to go shower and to go to the bathroom. Her husband is downstairs making coffee and maybe breakfast... I'm to tired to eat right not. A nap sounds nice.... I slowly feel my eyes feeling heavy trying my best to stay awake not to have another nightmare about Lily dying or anyone on the team dying. Or the worst is the one when Dan stabs me in the stomach... I puts a protective hand on top of her stomach and slowly drift off to sleep...

"Where I'm I?" I look around and all there is, is a bench with someone sitting in it. I walk towards it with caution until the person turn "Lily?" She doesn't move her mouth but her voice is everyone "Jen. Come sit." I'm kind of creeped out that her mouth didn't move but sit anyway "Why you tripping Jenny?" I hear her laugh. I look at her "Your mouth isn't moving." A smile forms on her lips "That's because I'm visiting you. I'm not really here... It's a dead thing." I laugh "Only you would say something like that." She laughs and it makes me smile "Jen, I came here to have closure. I can't move on because you keep pulling me back." I close my eyes "I don't want you to be dead." She smiles "Sweety, I'm dead. There's nothing you can do. I'm buried." I flinch "I... Why did you save Reid?" She keeps looks at me in the eyes "Jen, your child deserves a father. And Reid even though he's really nervous will be wonderful." I look at her "What else... I need closure too."

She takes my hand and sparks fly "Well Jennifer Jareau Reid, it's because I love you. And I knew it was trapped. And it was Hotch, Reid or me. Hotch is a father and expecting another. Reid is your husband and soon to be father. It would of broke you and the team more if it was them. When you love someone you make put yourself aside." I look at her and I'm crying "I love you too." She smiles "I know. JJ." She leans in and kisses me, I kiss her back through my tears knowing after this... It was goodbye. I separate myself and smile "Joe was going to propose." She smiles "I know. I love him. I would of married him." I nod. She smiles one last time and touches my cheek "Spencer is good for you. Don't shut yourself out. When you wake up I want you to walk up to that man and kiss him like you mean it. Love doesn't come often. And you and him have something we didn't have. I love you JJ, but if I could do it again. I would still break up with you. Funny, I broke up with you because I was scared that you'd die and because I'd never see you but honestly it was because your job was more dangerous and TYPICAL me I die first." I laugh and smile at the women I once love "Lily, thank you." I watch her get up and kiss my forehead "See you on the other side pumpkin.... Goodbye JJ. And the ring when you find it.. Keep it. I love you."

I wake up sweating. I run my eyes and I'm crying. What ring? What happened... I just got closure... She's gone. She's really gone this time. I'll never see her again. I starts to cry then I hear her voice "Kiss him like you mean him." I shake my tears off... And then and open my drawer there lay a white box... It wasn't there before. I open the box and there's a ring. I smile knowing what just happened was real. I look at the white gold ring with diamond on top. I pass my finger over it. I mumble "I love you, but I love him more" I shut the drawer and make my way downstairs.

I get downstairs and Spencer is making coffee in his boxers. I walk up behind him and say "Hey Reid." He turns he was about to say something but I kiss him, he drops the coffee and pulls me in. I kiss him harder. I push him back against the counter "JJ. Not that I don't enjoy this but, what came over you?" I can tell he's fighting hard not to take me upstairs and make love to me. I look at him "If I told you... You wouldn't believe me." He smiles and takes my head "Try me." So I do. I explain the dream to him but to my surprise he smiles "That's quite possible. A angel will visit you if they are stuck between here and the after life. No one goes to heaven until everyone lets them go. And you were the only one not ready to. I'm happy you got closure." I smile at my husband then run my hand on his chest he shivers "Come make love to me..." I wink and I walk towards the bedroom. I can hear him behind me... Coffee long forgotten.