Days have past since the little meet up with our friends and family. My mother held onto my hug as long as she could before a Peacekeeper pried her off of me. I had waved goodbye to her, but she never turned back.
A tear followed the curves of my cheeks and down my chin. I used my tattered and dirty jacket to wipe it away.
After that... Oakley and Keon, fell into a peaceful forever sleep- a deep sleep called death. It was terrible.
I remember hearing Ashre's horrified scream and seeing their strong smiles in the sky that night. Watching their faces fade away into the midnight blue sky broke me into tears.
The next few days had been quiet, but filled with tears- many tears. Through the silent night, I cried silently to sleep, waking with bloodshot eyes. Days were long, cold, and very nerve racking. Everyday, I stood on guard, waiting to see if Ashre would attack, knife on hand.
Nothing.
One particular day, I was sobbing in the warmest, deepest corner of the Cornucopia, where Aidan used to sleep, until... I couldn't bring myself to remember his death.
I don't have anything to go home to... Barely anything. My hand shakily reaches over to the dagger by me and I lift it.
BOOM!
A cannon startles me and I drop my weapon. I reach to my neck to feel my pulse- it races a million miles per hour.
Suddenly, overhead, I hear the rustling of stray trees, the engine of a hovercraft roars above.
Is this real?
I pinch myself as hard as I can and I feel the pain flow through my cheek.
Ashre...
I stand and take off to the mall. My instincts tell me to run, but I don't know where I am going. Just running, running away from everything; I cut through the alleyways, making a line away from the hovercraft flying overhead.
Soon I come across it in front of the mall, a body of a small boy, smaller than myself. His limbs are mingled as if he had broken many bones. I start backing away, horrified and I collapse after tripping over the curb. Once again, I cup my face in my hands, letting all the frustrations out.
Over the loudspeaker, I hear Gazette speaking proudly, "And we have the victor of the 95th Hunger Games... Congratulations to Liliana Lumen of District 3!"
Her voice rings loud and proud throughout the entire arena, but pride is the opposite that I felt.
***
A few hours later, I sat, free of wounds and my face caked with makeup with Candice. The setting is way different then before the games. Now, there are two chairs, cushioned with only the best of pillows produced by the Districts. We sit facing the
"Welcoming... Liliana Lumen, victor of the 95th Hunger Games!" My name is announced loud across all of Panem.
Candice smiles at me. "So Liliana, welcome back, it's been a long time since we last spoke. How do you feel about winning the 95th Hunger Games?"
Her expression looks more matured since the start of the games. The once pink bouncy curls have less of a spring and more of a light swirl. And the black blazer over top her neon pink button up was just a little bit more presentable than the previous outfit.
"Liliana?" She asks.
Her still peppy voice rings through the room and I snap out of the thought, blushing.
"I don't know. It just didn't seem like it was possible... I can't believe I actually made it out to see the faces of everyone I know." I reply, my voice drifting off.
Candice smiles at me, grabbing my small hand. "Well, we can all tell! Are you happy about your achievement?"
Achievement. It was such an abstract word. Was it an achievement that I made a small boy die to win? Was I really meant to win? Questions circle around my head, making me feel guilty.
"I-I'm not sure that it was exactly an achievement." I stammer.
She furrows her perfect brows, "How so? Are you guilty about Ashre's death?"
His name hits me with a huge wad of regret. "Yeah. He was such a small child, younger than me. I was so afraid..." A tear rolls down the layer of waterproof makeup, "I was so afraid of having to kill him. But it didn't even come down to that... I knew I had to let him win. Afterall, he had a beautiful family and plenty of friends to go home to... But, most of my loved ones, they're all dead..."
I close my eyes and let the tears drip off my false eyelashes.
"I'm sorry for your loved ones, but they will always remain in your heart." She whispers into the microphone, squeezing my hand tight. "And I know, we will all remember the innocent small little Ashre we know and love."
The room goes silent- silence for the dead boy.
Opening my eyes, I continue with my little speech. "When I first came... I had so much doubt in myself. But all the people along the way, they helped me go through these hardships. They all got me through these times where I was upset, and scared. Even though they dropped away, I know, and many have told me;" My eyes sparkled with tears, "they will always live in my heart. Avery, Dylan, Aidan, Rowan, and my sister, Iris. I love them all so dearly and these games... They're the thing that taught me to love them so much."
I suddenly stopped. Silence spread throughout the room. What was I saying?
Then, out of almost nowhere, the audience stood, their sequined dresses and suits blinding me as they caught the light, and a loud applause overwhelmed me. The crowd's affection for me made me smile. I hadn't know about all the supporters I had along the way.
When the cheers finally died down, Candice stood, making me stand along with her. "Wow Liliana... That was great. But let's finish off strong with one final question; What do you think you will do once you leave the Capitol?"
My heart thumped loudly and quickly. I wasn't sure.
Looking up at Candice, I clutch the locket still hanging around my neck, my hand in such close proximity to my pounding heart that I could feel every beat- What would I do?- and murmur delicately, "I don't know."
