Young Justice: Red Beetle

Chapter 32 - Strength

—Remy

My mouth opens in a scream as I bolt upright in my bed. My entire body trembles like an earthquake hit only me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes and I can't stop myself. I quiet my scream and sit there, shaking and crying.

The door bursts open and Jaime charges in.

"Remy? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He rushes to my side and I nearly fall out of bed reaching for him. We meet and I clutch onto him and he sits on the bed. I curl up on his lap, hating that I'm crying in front of him but I keep on doing it anyways. He sits cross legged on the bed and slowly rocks me back and forth. He holds me tight, and I clutch him even tighter.

Once my hysteria has ebbed, I'm empty. My face is dry of tears, but it holds a blank stare. My muscles are cramping from holding a curled up position. I'm afraid if I let go, I won't ever be able to gain control ever again.

I'm not in control, not tonight.

"Remy, please. Tell me what's wrong." Jaime whispers gently to me. I turn my face into his chest so I don't have to look at him. So he can't see my broken spirit.

What's wrong with me? Everything. I watched the original Red Beetle die, and she died for me nevertheless. I had to show Sara Butters boyfriend her dead body and tell him that she would have married. I got my mother killed because of me.

Everything's wrong.

"Remy. Please..." Jaime begs.

I don't want to relive it. I can't do it. I can't.

Remy Emerson, it would be beneficial to you to share these memories with the Jaime Reyes.

I can't, Khori ja. I just can't.

Yes you can. You are stronger than you think, Remy Emerson.

I don't believe her. Yet, she has just relived those loses too. She lost Sara Butters, and that death do more damage to her than me. If Khori Ja can be strong for me, that I can be strong for her.

I slowly let my limbs loosen, and rearrange myself so my back is against Jaime's Chest. He rests his chin on top of my head, and I don't have the energy to hate that he can only do that because I'm so short. He wraps his arms around me, and I lay my hands on his arms. He's so warm.

"I remember... I remember everything." I start out, and I don't stop until I tell him everything. He stays silent while I talk, choking through the words. Once I finish, I simply sit there, soaking in his warmth and trying not to cry.

"You are the strongest person I know." He whispers softly.

"No I'm not." I say, defeated. "I couldn't save my mom. I let Sara Butters die for me. I'm weak..."

"No. You're wrong, Remy. You were the Red Beetle for three years after that, working only on your own. That means you survived all of that. You are strong enough to pull through and keep on fighting. You always keep on fighting, and you never let anyone control you except you."

His words have a great effect on me. My heart starts heating up, burning brightly. I realize that Jaime gave me hope. He's right, I survived this the first time. I can survive it again. Khori Ja and I both can.

We can, and we will, Remy Emerson.

I feel peace, for the first time that night. Sleep starts overtaking me. Jaime lets me lay down, but I hold on to his hand. I look at him, and beg him silently. He gets under the covers with me, and wraps his arms around me. His warmth once again surrounds me, and I feel safe. Jaime makes me feel safe.

I doze off in the arms of my lover.