England: So kids, your father and I saw what happened. We found weed hidden in your bag.
America: Ugh, can I leave? I have some weed to smoke and burgers to eat.
France: Non, mon petite Amerique...We hired a motivational speaker to come in and talk to both of you regarding drugs and your future...He should be here any-
*door flings open*
Prussia: *Walks in* Hallo, I'm the motivational speaker!
England: alright tell us a bit about yourself...
Prussia: As your father may have mentioned, my name is Gilbert and I am a motivational speak. Let me give you a scenario of what my life is like; I am 23, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.
Canada: M-Maple.
Prussia: What you kids are probably thinking is that you're going to get the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!
America: U-Uhh..Sure?
Prussia: Well as you go out there, you're probably going to realize that you're not going to do JACK SQUAT! You're going to end up eating a steady diet of government food and living in a van down by the river!!
France: *Whispering to England* Tell moi again, why did we choose Prussia?
Prussia: *Pointing at Canada* Now young man, I want you to tell me what you want to be when you grow up.
Canada: Well....I want to be a writer.
Prussia: WELL LA DI FREAKING DA! WE GOT OURSELVES A WRITER OVER HERE! Hey France, I can't see real good, is that Billy Shakespeare over here?
England; Um, actually Francis and I have encouraged Canada and his writing....
Prussia: ......Well England I wish you cut just shut your big YAPPER!!!!
England: =.=
Prussia: Now I wonder, Matthew, what I've heard is that you aren't using that paper for writing. You're using that paper for rolling blunts! You're going to be doing a lot of blunt rolling when you're living in a van down by the river!
France: U-Uhhh....
Prussia: America, what do you want to do with your life?
America: I want to live in a van down by the river.
Prussia: Well you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river....WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
America: *Looking at England and France* Why?...J-Just why?
Prussia: Now you're probably asking yourself, how we can fix this? Well the only solution I'm seeing is that I come down and live with you!
France: NON!
Prussia: I'LL BUNK WITH THIS ONE! *picks up/throwing around Canada* WE'RE GOING TO BE BUDDIES, WE'RE GOING TO BE PALS!! OLE GIL'S GOING TO BE YOUR SHADOW!!! HERE'S YOU HERES ME, HERE'S YOU HERE'S ME!
Canada: *Crying*
Prussia; Now let me go get my gear and I can move in....
England: Um, no that's not necessary!!!
Prussia: I don't give a rats ass, I'm moving in! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! *runs out to get gear*
France: *locks door* Anglettere, lock the windows!
England: *locking windows*
America: W-We'll never do drugs again! Just please don't let him back in the house!
Canada: *still crying*
France: Shh..It's okay, he'll never come back....
Canada: W-We love you Mom and Dad!
France/England: We love you too...
Face family: *group hugs*
