"Hey, buggaboo," Gina pulls Cameron into a bear hug. "Hi mama," Cameron mumbles into her shoulder. He feels so much relief being in his mothers arms, she's always been a source of great comfort for Cameron. They pull away and walk into the living room. Cameron sets his stuff in his room and comes back out and sits on the couch across from his mother.
"So, how are you?" Gina can tell by the bags under his eyes that he hasn't been sleeping well, if at all. Cameron says he's okay even though he's terrible. He's always been a person to put on a strong face for the ones he loves. Gina shakes her head slowly, "Don't do that, Cam." Cameron looks at her with a facade of confusion. "What do you mean? Don't do what?" Gina rolls her eyes and gives Cameron a look that makes him want to confess. "You know exactly what I mean, Cameron. Don't pretend to be okay when your aren't. It's okay to not be okay."
Cameron's head hangs low but he keeps his eyes on his mothers. He can feel that he's already close to crying, it makes him feel weak. Gina gestures for Cameron to sit next to her and Cameron obliges. "Now, how are you?" Cameron sighs and lays his head on the back of the couch. "Absolutely terrible," Cameron whispers. "I miss him so much,"
"How long has it been since you last saw him?" Gina knows that he saw him at the People's Choice Awards but she wants to see how Cameron reacts. "I saw him last week at the People's Choice Awards but he hardly acknowledged me. We literally said hi, took a couple of pictures and said bye," Cameron mumbles quietly. Cameron's eyes are giving out and he's close to crying. "I.. My heart hurts," He whispers. The flood gates are opened and the tears flow down his face slowly.
"Make this pain go away, mama. Please. Make it go away," Gina's heart breaks for her baby. She brings him in her arms and kiss the top of his head while whispering sweet nothings. "I know it hurts, baby. I know how bad it hurts but you'll be okay, okay?" Cameron lets out a sob and the pain in his heart grows immensely. "I know exactly how you feel, baby. And you know how I know?" Cameron's tears are still flowing but he listens. "I met him when I was sixteen. I sat next to him in math class, and he was the sweetest boy ever.
"At the time I was going through a rough time. I was stressed out and sad, and I fell into a pit of self-hatred. And then that boy came along. He came along and he saved me, saved me from myself. he always told me how beautiful I was, never let me forget how special I was. I fell in love with him after two freaking weeks. We dated for five months. He up and left me without any explanation whatsoever. It fucking destroyed me, Cam. It hurts so bad that I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing him. It hurt so bad that it almost killed me. Hurt me so badly that my father stopped going to work to make sure that I didn't take one too many pills. He stayed outside of my door during the night to make sure that I didn't stop breathing.
"After months and months of relentless hurting, it grew lighter. Over the years, the pain got better until I could finally breathe again. My father went back to work and I got out of bed looking forwards to the day ahead of me. It gets better, Cam. Trust me, it gets better." Cameron's sobs were lowered to quiet sniffles and occasional tears. He sits up and wipes a tear from his mothers eye. "You didn't have to tell me all of that, mom. You didn't have to reopen that wound to make me feel better."
"Oh honey," She wipes a tear away and caresses Cameron's cheek. "I was saving it for you."
Cameron sat at Starbucks nervously bouncing his leg. His hands gripped the drink like he was hanging off the side of a cliff and that was the only thing keeping him from falling. After what seemed like years of anticipation, he shows up. He walks in and immediately spots Cameron and sits in the seat acorss from Cameron. "Alright, we need to make this quick. I have somewhere to be in ten minutes." Cameron's eyes widen at how short he's being with Cameron. He takes a deep breath and decides to just get it over with, just rip the band-aid off.
"I know I probably don't cross your mind much anymore, especially with your new girlfriend and all, but I hope someday you see something that reminds you of me." The boy lets out a puff of air that makes Cameron stop in the middle of what he was saying. "I don't have time for this, Cameron." The boy stands up and begins walking towards his vehicle. "Wait," The boy lets out of groan and turns around.
"I hope it reminds you of the things we used to spend hours talking about at night. I hope that it's then when your throat gets tight and your heart skips a beat and you finally miss me back." Cameron speaks before he lays his head against the doorway and shuts his eyes tight. The boy is a bit surprised but goes back to walking towards his car. "By the way, Nash," Nash stops and turns around. "I still love you, you fucking idiot." Cameron pushes off of the doorway and brushes past Nash to head out to his car. Cameron sits in his car for a few minutes, watching Nash as he gawks at Cameron whom is no longer standing in front of him.
Cameron's head lays against the steering wheel as tears quietly make their way down his face. He doesn't know how people deal with all this heartbreak. It feels like a dagger repeatedly being shoved into his heart.
"Cameron," Nash call his name softly, he's standing next to Cameron's car with his hand held out. "No, I don't want to hear it." Cameron rolls up his window and backs out of the parking space. He looks out the rear view mirror and watches Nash as rain begins to pour on him; Nash doesn't seem to care. He pulls out of the parking lot and drives off without looking back.
4:06am
"Hi again, it's Nash. Um, I'm not really sure why I'm calling again." Nash rubs his eyes in attempts to keep from crying. "I... I miss you. A lot. You were right, I'm sorry. And God, I hope it's not too late..." Nash gave up and allowed the tears to roll down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. She left me and I need you back and I'm so fucking sorry. All I want right now is to hear your voice because God knows it's the only thing keeping me alive at this point." Nash let out a sob. "I'm so fucking sorry. I love you. Call me back, please Cameron."
