He walked through the door and ran a hand across the back of my shoulders before walking into the dining room. He turned his head back towards me and picked his finger up to motion me to follow him. Even in his through his stress, his movements were still as graceful as ever. He sat down at the table and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up at me, but you could tell he wasn't actually looking at anything in particular. His mind was a million miles away. His hair fell slightly over his eyes, covering up his big beautiful eyes. I sat down across from him and stared into his eyes. He held himself together very well, never showing telltale signs as to what exactly he's feeling, but I think he forgets sometimes that his eyes hold so much emotion. His eyes portray his emotions and thoughts without him ever having to say a word. Or maybe that was just me; I just knew him that well.
"We need to talk," His eyes held a shimmer. Not the good kind, either. He was nervous, possibly sad. He usually never gets nervous, so naturally it made me feel a bit uneasy. "What is it?" I asked softly. I reached my hand across the table to hold his hand, but he flinched and pulled back as I touched it. I tilted my head and squinted my already small eyes at him. This was weird behavior. His eyes focused on an object just past my shoulder. He was really looking at the object this time. I turned my head to see if I could find what he was looking at, but I didn't see a thing.
"Do you truly love me?" He asked out of the blue. The glimmer in his eye dissipated and the true color of his eyes faded into a dull color. I opened my mouth and closed it again, slightly stunned at what he was asking. Why was he doubting my love for him? "You're hesitating." He accused me. He stood up, "You don't love me. I knew it." He murmured the last part, almost as if he were talking to himself. "Why are you with me? Is someone paying you to be with me?"
"Woah, woah, woah. Where in the hell is all of this coming from? Why are you all of the sudden doubting my love for you? And who would be paying me? If I didn't want to be with you, Not even money could convince me to be with you." He was pacing back and forth. "Nash, just answer my question!" He ran his hand through his hair. I started to panic on the inside. Why? I had no clue, no one had paid me. I had no secrets. I truly love this man with every single existing part of my being. My love for him runs deep down into my bones and even if I don't want to love him, I had and have no choice. I grabbed onto his lower arm and tugged on him so that he fell into my lap.
"I love you with everything I have, Cameron." I gripped his cheeks, "Do you believe me?" He searched my eyes. "How can I know for certain?"
"I love you, baby. And you know how I know?" He shook his head and moved his eyes down. I lifted the bottom of his chin so he had to look at me. "Look at me, baby. I love you. I know that for sure because love is about sacrifices. Because if you were to stand up from my lap right now and tell me that you no longer love me, pack your stuff and walk out, I wouldn't stop you. Not because I don't love you, or that I don't care if you leave. I do care, so much. But because if you're no longer happy with me and all that I have to offer, I would sacrifice my happiness for you to go find your happiness."
Cameron wiped away the small stray tears running down his face and leaned in to kiss me. We shared a small passionate kiss, and when it was over, Cameron stood up. He didn't bother wiping the other tears, he probably knew they weren't going to stop falling. "Well, that's good." Cameron whispered. He fixed his dress shirt and made his way up the stairs. I decided to not follow him, just let him cool off a bit. I stood up and made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed some plates out of the sink and began to dry wash them. I heard a loud bang upstairs but didn't do anything. He's probably just frustrated. I set a plate down and leaned against the counter, staring out into the dark abyss they call nighttime.
I heard stomping and turned to see Cameron standing there with endless tears running down his face and a dufflebag in his hand. "I... I," He stuttered. I moved towards him and he backed away. "Cam, what are you doing?" He picked up the bag and threw it over his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't love you anymore. I love Aaron. And... I'm leaving you." He stated. "I'll have someone come get my stuff within the next week."
I think that was the exact moment my heart broke. He was the one that got away. The love that left me broken beyond repair.
It happened five years ago and sometimes I'm still not sure if I've recovered. I still call him sometimes. Of course, he never answers. I still think it's worth the try.
When we were young, I used to think that Aaron stole my boyfriend, my love. But as I got older, I realized that no one can steal anyone away from you unless they're willing to go. I also used to think that no one could take Cameron from me. I though that our love was strong. Through all of the people who have tried to break us up, we stayed strong.
Until I realized that we weren't as strong as I thought we were. All it took was one person. Aaron Carpenter.
