♡Lucky Ones♡ [Completed]

Chapter Fifteen

Guilt

-That night-

I turned over for what seems like the hundredth time in the past hour. I could not sleep. I don’t know why. Usually on tours, I’m dead out. But now it seems as if my sleep has been kidnapped, forcing me awake. TV. Maybe I’ll watch some to pass the time. I jumped from my bunk as lightly as ever, not wanting to wake Miley. I snuck pass the guys and made it to the lounge. I flopped on the couch and turned MTV. The only thing that was on was Jackass. Oh well, it was two in the morning. About half way through the movie, I hear a thump. Our manager is asleep, the rest of the guys are asleep and the merch girl is up front. Who the hell is on this bus?! A figure began to emerge from the bunks and I prepared myself to beat his ass with a guitar, which was in the bunks. Damn it. The figure stepped into the light and my worry eased. It was only Ryan. He took a seat next to me and crossed his legs.

“Thought I heard something.” I laughed.

“You always do.” Ryan came out the bunks wearing only boxers. It kinda reminds me of Austin. How he can never wear the same boxers twice and how Ryan always keeps a condom in his pockets because as he puts it; “You can never be too prepared.”

“What are you doing up?” this kinda makes me wish I would’ve put on some pants. Instead, I sit on the couch in underwear and a tank top.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He checks his phone and sighs.

“She won’t answer.” Ryan has a girlfriend back home. Her name is Annah and to me she’s the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet. She treats us well, but fuck with Ryan or one of her friends; she’ll beat the mess out of you. “I miss her touch.” He groans and throws his head back.

“Tell me about it. I haven’t had sex in six months and Vic is taking things extremely slow. Especially with my brother around.” He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear.

No, no. Don’t do that. I think to myself.

“Yea. Things have been stressful lately.” I turn to ask him what does he mean when our noses meet. Before I can make of what’s happening my hand is running through his hair. I don’t have any feelings for Ryan. And he has none for me. When we hook up, it’s like a one night stand. Or six month stand.

“We could just do it, satisfy our needs and as usual, keep it a secret.” He says.

“But, it was different then. We were single. Now we have a partner and if we do it, then we’re cheating.” But I really wanted to. It’s been so long. I just wanted to do it, enjoy it, and get it over with. Could I? My heart said no, but my mind said yes. I went with my mind. I connected my lips with his. He was surprised at first, his eyes widen at my sudden burst of action. But soon, he was kissing back. He leaned forward so he was on top of me. his lips moved down my neck until he heard me moaned. He found my sweet spot. He began to suck at it, I kept moving my legs to keep me from losing it. He lifted my shirt up and tossed it across the room. He picked me up and walked to the bunks.

“Who’s bunk, mines or yours?” he asked.

“Mine. Top one. Miley’s a heavy sleeper.” He took us back there and that was a night I sure did not regret.

I woke up and saw Miley was still asleep. Ryan was next to me. I hit him in the stomach and he sat up. He looked at me and then himself.

“Did we-” I nod.

“Yes!” I hiss. I hand him his clothes. “Now get out or sleep on the bottom bunk.” He jumps down and goes into his bunk. I get up and wrap a towel around myself and grab some fresh clothes. It was seven in the morning. We won’t be at Paradise until eleven. I take a hot shower, scrubbing every inch of Ryan off of me. I feel dirty and I’m guilty. I should’ve never given in. I’m a cheater. I cheated. I hate myself.  I sat on the floor of the shower and cried every emotion out of me. there was a knock at the door and it opened. It was Max. but I was still crying. I cheated. I’m a whore and I cheated. Max looked in and saw me.

“Hey, why are you crying?” I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms over them. He opened the curtain and wrapped a towel around me. I couldn’t make out words, I just cried. I’d put this on myself. I can’t tell Max. I can’t tell anyone. Max just stared at me. it’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before. We went skinny dipping one time. No, he was staring at my eyes.

“Nothing.” I croaked out. “It’s nothing.” I shooed him out and locked the door this time. I slip on my Galaxy shorts and a Sleeping with Sirens tank top and my Warped Vans. I confiscated myself in my bunk finishing writing songs and starting new ones. The guys kept coming in trying to give me food and ask what’s wrong. But I refused. Miley came in and forced me to eat three strips of bacon. This was five minutes after we had arrived. As soon as they left the bus, a look from Ryan sent my shivers, not the good kind, I went to the bathroom to purge.

-Show time-

“It’s a beautiful lie,” I sang. Everyone has been avoiding me because of my short temper. But once I was on stage I felt so much better. Only one thing mattered and that was the fans. “It's time to forget about the past. To wash away what happened last. Hide behind an empty face. Don't ask too much, just say, 'Cause this is just a game.” I scream into the microphone. I look into the crowd.

“It's a beautiful lie. It's the perfect denial. Such a beautiful lie to believe in-” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the crowd. I had stop singing completely. The band stopped, they looked at me confused. But I was on the brink of tears. I can’t believe it. I really can’t.

I can’t believe he did this to me.

I drop the microphone and run off stage. I mean, it was our last song anyway. I run to our bus and run inside. I close the door, run to our bunk, and climb to the top of the bus. I lay on top of it, my body sprawled out in different directions.