♡Lucky Ones♡ [Completed]

Chapter Thirty-One

Lost At Sea

~Ellie~

My head is hurting like crazy. I turn over in attempt to get comfy, but an arm around my waist stops me. I open one eye and smile to myself. Ben is knocked out cold next to me. We did it. Ben and I hooked up last night. This may sound strange, but hooking up with Ben has given me this weird since of….pride? I mean, I was being a cocky bitch. Last time I did that, I got raped. But this time, I got a hookup. I shook the thought away and slipped out of Ben’s arms. I grabbed some sweat pants and a tank top from my bag and took some of Ryan’s clothes and left them out for Ben. I grabbed a light and a cigarette and stood on the balcony. As I let out a puff of smoke, arms wrapped around my waist and my cigarette was taken from my mouth.

“You really shouldn’t be smoking.” He stuck it in his mouth and took a puff.

“But you can?” I questioned. He shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s a bad habit.”  I leaned my arms against the rail.

“Well, it keeps the hunger crave at bay.” I mumbled. I look over the rail and see the ground below. All I would have to do is jump over it……..

“Well, a pretty face like you shouldn’t be worried about your weight.” I snort.

“Ha! That’s what everyone says. They just don’t see it from my point.” The sun was barley up. It’s about five in the morning. No one would even notice if I jump the rail…….

“I would.” I give him a weird look. “I would noticed if you jumped over the rail.” I was speaking my thoughts out loud.

“I don’t see why you care. You’re just a hookup.” I point out. He tosses the cigarette over the rail and stands next to me.

“My intentions was to hook up, not get attached.” I give out a hoarse laugh.

“I’m surprised you even got this far. No one has been able to touch me since the rape. With the exceptions of a few people. Man, would my dad be proud.” I say sarcastically. I’m pretty sure I already have the tile of a Band Whore again. Or a Slut. But at this point in the game, I don’t care.

“But you seem so happy.” He says.

“It’s called fakeness. I fake everything. My happiness, my laughter. Gosh, the only thing that isn’t fake is my stupid cockiness. But that’s what got me raped in the first place. I’ve changed. Ever since the love of my life broke up with me, I’ve changed. I mean, I took fashion advice from Andy Biersack for good sakes! Then my recent relationship with Andy Glass ended up with him being drunk and he cheated. My dad died, my brother and I are slipping apart. My best friend Lauren died and I was forced to listen to a song about it for years.” The tears are on the brink of pooling over. I turn to face Ben. “You give me a reason to not jump over this rail and end my misery. Just throw me into an ocean! Let me be lost at sea! Tell everyone I love and hate that I'll miss them! So tell me, why?!?!”

“Well for starters, you would have so many people who will miss you. I mean you have an awesome band and are getting sign to a major record label! You met so many amazing people. Do you want to just leave them? You have fans that will miss you dearly and your brother and mother wouldn’t want to see their 25 year old bundle of sunshine not shining. Pale and in a casket. Austin is like your protective best friend, if anything he would take this he hardest. Hell he would probably commit suicide. And me, you are a strong person Ellie. Even I would miss you. I’m begging you, don’t jump.”

“That’s a fucking lie! Do you know what my high school teacher told me? She said that the things that you love will never stay and look how my life turned out!” I scream at him.