Good Girlz in the Hood : The Chronicles of Ciara

Chapter 48 - No Obligations

A couple of months had passed, we were now in mid-November. I hadn't gone back to live with my mother and Raphael, instead I was splitting my time between Anton and Elysia's (his girlfriend) flat and Kyle's house. I was preparing to send off my application to various universities; I had decided to study Fashion Design and Marketing. I was planning to stay close to London because it would be easier for me, and I had applied for a council flat but was still waiting to be placed. Kyle was spending a lot of time in Manchester, for university as he had gotten some sort of transfer for his final year. We didn't see each other as much as before, but we spoke every day, and when he was home I stayed at his house.

I hadn't seen my mum since my birthday, and had moved the majority of my important things over to Anton's place to avoid having to go back there. I also had a job now, so I was earning my own money. It wasn't enough but it was better than nothing.
Anton and our dad had begun mending their relationship for some reason, but it was about time.

It was a thursday afternoon, about 1.30 and I was laying down in Kyle's bedroom, waiting for him to get out of the shower. He had left his phone on the bed, so it pulled me out of my daydream when it began ringing. I looked at the screen and saw the name ' Sexy Rochelle' flashing on the screen. It was his 'best friend'. I decided to answer it and tell her to call back..

"Hello sexy" she giggled when I pressed the answer button. I hadn't spoken yet so she didn't know that it was me who had answered
"Kyle's in the shower. Maybe next time you should wait to hear a voice before you call someone sexy." I said, hanging up.
He came back in the room as I put the phone back where it had been.
"What you doing with my phone?" He asked, dropping the towel and putting on some boxers.
"'Sexy Rochelle' called you." I said, handing him the phone.
"She saved her number like that, not me..." He said, sensing that I was pissed off.
I sat there quietly, thinking about my uni application, and how long I would have to wait for responses.
I had been planning to spend the night at Kyle's house but I wasn't so sure anymore. I was really tired, and ended up falling asleep without getting any coursework done. Kyle woke me up at about 6.30 to have something to eat. After eating, I did a bit of work until about 9.30, when I had a shower and sat in bed watching Eastenders on BBC 3.

I was getting a bit sick of not having my own home to feel comfortable in. At Kyle's house, I felt bad because I was using their hot water and electricity etc without contributing; at Anton's I felt like I was invading their space because they only had one bedroom and I was sleeping on their sofa.

I was hoping to have my own place by the new year, at least then I could be free. 
 
The next morning, Kyle drove me halfway to college and I got on a bus from there. Friday was my longest day of the week, and I was dreading my 4pm finish... Luckily the day breezed by and I made my way back to Kyle's house, looking forward to going to sleep.
I got to his house at about 6pm and rang the doorbell. I could see the shadow of someone in his bedroom window; it looked like a girl. It was probably Rachel. The door was opened by Ashley and I went straight upstairs to lie down. I opened the door and was surprised to see Rochelle sat on his bed.
She said hi to me, but the way she said it was like she was tryna make me jealous of the fact that she was there
"Where's Kyle?" I asked her
"He's just in the shower, before we go out. He was all sweaty..." She said, as if she was implying that they had just had sex.
I looked at her, trying to decide whether or not she was implying anything. I chose not to say anything, and sat on the chair next to his desk, since she was sitting where I normally would have slept/sat.
Kyle came back into the room and barely acknowledged me. He and Rochelle sat there playing PlayStation games, as I sat there watching them quietly.
They went out to go and buy food, I said I wasn't hungry but I was. I just didn't wanna spend another moment in their company. As soon as they left, I gathered the things I would need for the weekend, and left the house. I walked the long way to the bus stop to avoid seeing the two of them. Whilst I was waiting Rachel appeared
"Are you okay?" She asked. She could probably tell that I was upset.
"I'm fine - sort of. Just your brother and his friend irritating me. He completely ignored me and he knew I wanted to spend time alone with him."
"Don't worry about him, focus on you. I might be his sister but I know he his, and at the end of the day if you're not feeling happy when you're around him, that means he aint good for you." She said. She stayed with me until my bus came and said she would tell him off for me.
I felt so alone all of a sudden. As the bus sped towards my destination I thought about my current situation.... The only upside was that hopefully soon I would have somewhere permanent. to live.
As soon as I got to Anton's place, I realised how tired I actually was, so I set my alarm to wake up for the morning and then put my phone on silent and closed my eyes.
I woke up at about 9am, I started work at 12, so I had a shower and ate some breakfast. I tried to do a bit of coursework but only managed to get a little done. Kyle hadn't even called me after I'd left his house, which showed how much he cared about me.
I left the house around 11 and made my way to work. It was the worst job in the world and was such shit pay, but for the moment it was better than nothing. I finished work at 8pm and made my way "home."
When I got in the house, Elysia was in the kitchen making dinner.
"Hi darling, I was just about to call you and ask if you were coming home for dinner.. Are you staying in tonight?" She asked, as I sat at the kitchen counter
I nodded my head, and put my head down on the counter. I was so tired, and felt extremely depressed
"Are you okay?" She asked
"Yeah, I'm just tired." I said, then burst into tears all of a sudden. You know when you don't mean to cry, but the tears just start coming.
She came round the counter and hugged me tight. It felt nice to be hugged for once; this lonely feeling was killing me. She didn't say anything else, just hugged me and massaged my back. It felt so good to be looked after
"Just let it out..." She whispered. She continued to comfort me until we heard the front door slamming shut; Anton was home.
"Go into the bathroom and wash your face," she said, guiding me towards the bathroom. I kneeled in front of the sink and splashed cold water onto my face. I dabbed at my face with toilet roll and sat there for a bit.
I took some clothes from my bag under their bed, and changed into a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a plain t-shirt. I went back to the kitchen and helped Elysia with the dinner preparations. I started work at 10 the next morning, so after dinner I did the washing up and did some coursework in the kitchen.
My phone vibrated loudly on the counter-top with the name Meisha flashing on the screen.

"Hey Meish. You okay?" I asked, thinking she was just calling to chit-chat
"Yeah I'm good. I'm good. Where are you?"
"I'm at Anton's, why?"
"That explains it. Coz I'm at some drink up in Heath, and Kyle's here... With that Rochelle girl. She's all over him again."
I sighed, not knowing what to say.
"Meish, just leave him to it. I don't have time to chase him around. Can you imagine we were both at his house last night, and if you didn't know better, you would've thought that SHE was his girlfriend, and I was the "friend" I didn't want Anton to hear what I was saying coz he still didn't like Kyle
"I'm gonna hot him up. I dunno why he thinks just coz you aren't here, he can get away with it. I'll call you tomorrow night love." She said, hanging up the phone.

I hoped she wasn't gonna go and make the situation worse, coz I didn't have time to worry about Kyle. He knew the deal; if he wanted to fuck about again it would be the end of us

***

On the monday morning, I didn't start college until 10.40, so I got up around 7 and did some coursework, before getting dressed. As I left the apartment, my phone began ringing. It was my social worker.

"Morning Ciara, how are you?" She asked
"I'm fine, just a little tired."
"Well I've got some good news for you... We still are in the process of finding you a permanent place, but we've found you somewhere to stay until a place becomes available. It a house-share, with one other girl, who's pregnant and also awaiting a permanent flat."

"Oh my God, that is great! When could I move in?"
"I can bring you the keys this evening, or tomorrow morning and then you can move in as soon as you're ready, my love."
"Thank you, so much Sandra!" 
"I'm only doing my job love. Bye now" she said, hanging up the phone

I was so happy!!

***
By the friday night, I had packed a few things and was moving them over to my temporary house. I was in my bedroom, putting a sheet on the bed, whilst Anton brought my suitcase and boxes into the room.

"You don't have to stay here you know. You're welcome to stay with me and Ellie until you get a permanent place..."

I finished putting the sheet on and looked up at him. 

"I'll be fine; stop worrying! I don't wanna invade you guys' space anymore. I'll still come over and stuff, but I just won't sleep over."

He helped me finish setting up the room and we went to meet Elysia at a chinese restaurant for dinner.

After dinner, they dropped me back at the house. I sat in the room, not knowing what to do. I heard a gentle knock at the door, and opened it to see a light skinned black girl, with long brown hair.

"Hiya, I'm Sasha. You're Ciara right?" 
"Hi. Yep, that's me."
"I'm downstairs watching a film if you wanna join me?" 

I decided to join her; we would be living together for a while,so we might as well try and get along.

She was watching Love and Basketball, and was up to the bit where Quincy and Monica are fighting after they share their first kiss. 

"That's how me and my daughter's dad were..." She said. So she must have been having a girl, unless she already had a child.
"If you could see us now...." She said, sighing

I didn't wanna ask any questions; we had just met and I didn't wanna seem nosey. 

"When's she due?" I asked. It was the only thing I could think of

"25th January. I'm gonna name her Onika or Teyana." She said, smiling. "I'm guessing you're not pregnant, coz you aint got a belly. So why you here, if you don't mind me asking"

I looked at her, wondering how to word it correctly.

"I had a fight with my mum's boyfriend, and they kicked me out." That was the only to explain it

"My mum was exactly the same. She was cool with me being pregnant, then my stepdad went into one, saying I had to get rid of it etc. My mum told me either get rid or get out. And here me and my princess are today." She didn't sound bitter, she sounded kinda happy.

"I had an abortion earlier this year.... I regret it so much." I said, quietly

"I had one as well, but that was coz of her daddy. He didn't want me to have the first one. I went along with it, and he was happy about it the second time around, but things just didn't work out. I'm still hoping we can sort ourselves out in time." She said

Sasha seemed like a really nice girl, she just obviously had a bitch for a mother, like me.

We sat there for a while, just talking and getting to know each other. I felt like I had gained a new friend, and at this point, I needed as many as possible. I pretty much had no family left except for my dad (who had called me back the morning after my mum kicked me out), Anton and Chelsea's family. That was about six people, which isn't a lot at all, especially when you feel as alone as I do.

I thought Kyle had finally changed, but he seemed to be going back to his old ways, but I just didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore. As far as I was concerned, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to; I wasn't obligated to stay in a relationship with him.