fallingforyou - Matty Healy. pt 1

"For the meanwhile"

I head down the stairs at what I assume is about five am, I look around the room and spot Matty lying on the floor, yeah that looks uncomfortable, but the couch is taken.

I rip a pillow out of the arms of some drunk chick and tuck it under Matty's head.

I walk over to the cupboard and grab a couple of spare blankets out, throwing them over the drunk people everywhere. I used to think this was my dream, but I'm actually happy with my apartment.

I grab a bottle of water out of the pantry and cut out a couple of painkillers and put them next to Matty, also taking a few for myself.

I step outside into the cold and drink my water. Trying to overcome this pounding headache.

I head back inside and search around for a smoke. Matty's the only person I know who always has his cigarettes, they punctuate his day you see.

I lay down on the floor next to him and rest my head on his chest, his arms wrapping around me and holding me tighter.

"Tess?" He grumbles, I smile and plant a trail of kisses along his chest.

"Can I steal a smoke" I smile, I feel bad waking him up for a smoke but I really need one right now.

"Of course" he says and pulls a slightly squished packet out his pocket. He holds one out for me and I take it my teeth, I watch closely as he flicks his lighter and lights my cigarette.

"You're the best" I smile and lay my head back on his chest.

"I bet you say that to everyone" he says sounding quite hurt, which sorta hurts me.

"Only the best. You know I care about you right?" I say taking another drag.

"And I care about you" he says and kisses the top of my head.

"Do you want to move off the floor?" I ask with a little laugh.

"I really can't be bothered, I have a killer headache though" he says lighting his own cigarette.

"To the left, to the left" I sing, but I can't do it any justice.

He looks to the left and smiles, "you're the best" he smiles lazily.

"Where'd you sneak off to last night? Or should I say who?" He says slightly angrily, it's only now I'm realising I've been walking around in my underwear.

"Josh. If you think we hooked up you're mental" I laugh.

"Have you ever? If you don't mind me asking" I literally couldn't care less, someone asks me a question, I answer it, simple.

"Yeah, I've hooked up with most of my friends Matty. It's weird and you probably think I'm crazy, but it's just sex, with friends" I shrug. It's never meant much to me.

"Sex is just sex" he says, his voice is quieter than before though.

"If I ever fall for someone, maybe it'll be different, but for the meanwhile it's just another part of life really" I say running my fingers around the details of his tattoos.

"You'll fall in love one day, and everything will change." He assures me, I'm not even sure if I want to though.

"I don't think I want to be in love"

"You don't get much of a choice, love" that's true and sad and funny. So I just laugh a little.

"Well I'm going to go sleep in a bed, wanna come?" I ask but he shakes his head. Lazy.

We put our cigarettes out on the floor and I promise myself I'll pick them up later.

"I'll be here if you need me" he says curling up into a ball, he reminds me of a cat right now.