Tessa pulls down on one of the strings of a balloon and holds it close to her. She looks over to me and giggles. She bites at the bottom of the balloon and inhales some of the gas.
"Hel-" she stops to giggle "oh my" I burst into laughter at the squeak in her voice.
"Your turn Healy" she says, her voice slowly returning to normal. "Sing for me" she laughs.
"Why don't you figure my heart out?" I sing, Tessa bursts into laughter, having to wipe away tears from her eyes.
"That was flawless. New album idea, am I right?" She laughs.
We suck up all the helium from the balloon, Tessa looks down at the empty balloon. "We're so selfish" she simply says. She has kindness for everything, and everyone. I think it exhausts her.
"It's a balloon" I remind her.
"We used all it had to offer. Now we're just going to throw it away" she says, her face has dropped. I miss her laughter.
"It's a balloon. Tess" I say holding her face. She thinks too much, I think she had some English teacher who probably drilled the whole 'poetry is in the streets' thing into her head a bit too far.
"Sorry" she mutters and gets up to leave the room. Shaking her head a couple times.
I quickly tug on a pair of jeans and follow after her. I follow her outside to the hotel garden.
"Hey" I say and sit down on the seat next to her.
"Sorry. I was suffocating in that room" she says, running her thumbs over each other. "I've been thinking too much" she whispers.
"Let's go for a walk?" I offer. She smiles a small smile as I take her hand in mine.
"You know I really try stop myself from thinking. I try keep busy and all that, but I just can't stop it" she says weakly.
"Try filtering your thoughts. Pick and mix" I say, though I'm sure it's more complicated than that for her. She nods.
"Thanks. I'm sorry if I ever seem distant. There's a lot going on for me right now" she says running a hand through her waves. I know for a fact that me saying that doesn't help her at all, but she won't tell me that.
"I'm always here. No matter what" I assure her and pull her tighter into my side as we walk past the pool.
"Oh" Tessa says at the buzz of her phone, it's Luca. "Sorry, I have to take this" she says.
"No problem" I say and sit on one of the sun beds by the pool. I try not to eavesdrop but it's hard when Tessa's voice is the only noise.
"I don't care" she hisses, "just tell me. Tell me Luca. I don't care if it's not that simple" she says, her voice going weak. There's a long silence. "So I'm not breaking the law?" Oh god Tess, what has she got herself into? "Thank you. Sorry. Bye" she says and walks back over laying down on the sun bed with me.
"Everything alright?" I ask, running my hands up and down her arm.
"Yeah." She nods with a smile. "One of my best friends is a lawyer. One is a stripper. One writes for a magazine. One designs clothes. One has their own breed of dogs for crying out loud. Oh and my boyfriend is in a band." She says, I'm honestly a little bit lost.
"Dogs" is all I say, she laughs and begins to explain herself.
"I'm appreciating Matty. I'm try to focus on how great everything around me is. It's so great. It's so good. It-" she breaks into a sob.
YOU ARE READING
fallingforyou - Matty Healy. pt 1
Fanfiction"Find me cause I'll never find you" Those were the words that brought them together, but was it all just a mistake.
