fallingforyou - Matty Healy. pt 1

"Can't let go of that"

Tessa's pov.

Carly and I walk along the side of the balcony in the venue. They have the two parts of the balcony which overlook the stage closed off. I'm guessing to try prevent people jumping onto the stage -something I would do.

"This is a weird angle" Carly laughs. It is a weird angle. I nod and laugh. The guys are due to be on stage in... Right now. But hey, they'll probably be late.

I hear the crowd cheering before I see the silhouettes walking out on stage. I smile down at the boys.  

I can't really see anything that's going on, partly because my eye sight is a bit damaged, partly because it's really dark.

I watch the show in total awe. I don't sing along this time, except for milk. I only listen. It's a weird thing to only listen. The crowds chants, Matty's voice.

'Me' is always the most emotional song for me. I'm sure it's the same for everyone here. It's a damn good song. That's for sure.

I move down to the place where they do all the lighting for the show to watch the end. It's weird how different it is watching the show from, uhh, not the front row.

Afterwards instead of rushing backstage or falling asleep or crying of post concert depression, I actually stay and chat with Danny who's currently doing all the lighting. I don't understand most of it but that doesn't stop me from asking more and more about it. After all, light is what enables us to see, so if someone is making pretty patterns with it I wanna know.

We eventually head backstage as I admit to him that i don't really understand much of what's happening. Too many buttons for my brain thank you.

I finally head backstage, joining Ross on the couch, which I've already napped on twice today. I'm so well rested though, it's just a shame it's night time now...

"I think I'm jealous of you right now" Matty says. I look around me, I think he's talking to me?

"You've actually slept" he says. I can't help but giggle. I've never had someone say they're jealous of me before.

"Well, if I could give you my rest, I would" i smile as he slides into the seat next to me.

"Well you could have slept on the bus, but you sat there, writing away" Ross rolls his eyes at Matty.

"Oh!" I say rather exited. "Have you written new music stuff. I don't know the creative process so I'm going to shut up now" I silence myself. I don't know how music people do it.

"I guess I just write a lot, then mix it all together, lyric wise." Matty says quietly.

"Have you written any new songs? Wait. A new album?" I ask. A chuckle from Ross.

"I think we'd get a bit bored playing the same album over and over" Ross chimes in.

"Thirty nine track deluxe album" I remind him. He goes quiet.

"There will be a new album, we don't have much. Name, couple lyrics here and there" Matty tells me.

"Name? Tell me more, tell me more" I sing.

"I like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it. That's the name" a giggle escapes my lips.

"I like it. What's the actual name though? Or is it a secret?" I hate secrets, they ruin lives. "The 1975 part two" what a title.