Addicted (Dylan O'Brien)

Chapter 40

Author's Note:

Hey lovies! So happy everyone's been enjoying this story as much as I have. So I've been desperately trying to find a song that really describes Dylan as a person, besides Demons by Imagine Dragons I wanted something that really showed how he's trying to fight them. I think I've finally done it!! Yaaay! Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park I think fits his inner battle perfectly. He wants to change, has been trying to change yet he can't seem to break away from his inner demons. This song shows how he's trying yet his battles always come back. I think it's perfect, if you have another song that you think fits him let me know!

Love you <3

Dylan's POV:

I've been staring at my phone for the past five minutes, why the fuck can't she just call me? Why can't she just return one of my texts? Why the fuck did I ever agree to this? Frustration begins to entangle me as I think back to the night she climbed from my jeep with tears in those innocent eyes. I let her walk away, I didn't even fucking fight her on it. I just let her... I'm a fucking fighter and I let her walk away.

"Fuck!" I shout and toss my phone across the empty gym.

Rob comes storming from his office, "Hey!" he says in a commanding voice but never raising it, "Enough. I'm done watching you torture yourself, either call her or start making yourself useful and do your job." his voice is firm with me, just like it always is when he can sense I'm nearing my wits end.

Begrudgingly, I leave my phone on the ground and start wiping down the equipment in his gym. My body shakes with anger, or frustration, I don't know. I can't explain this feeling, it's as though I'm sinking, watching the darkness surrounding me slowly and for once I want to escape it but I haven't the slightest goddamn idea how to. I've gone two fucking long days without hearing her sweet voice, without see her sapphire eyes light up when she's teasing me. My self control is dwindling quickly and I don't know how much longer I can hold onto the thin thread that is keeping me from storming to her dorm and demand her to stop this insanity.

I can see it already, I'd pull her into my arms though as always she'd fight me on it. I'd kiss her till I felt her petite body collapse in my arms, I'd touch her till I heard her soft voice moaning my name, begging me for more. We'd regret it in the morning, we'd fight and I'd push her away realizing I was still the selfish bastard I've always been. She'd leave crying and I'd chase after her to wipe the tears from her eyes, I'd tell her what she deserves to hear. We'd fall back into the same fucked up cycle we've been in for the past month.

Anything is better than this... this fucking hole I've fallen in. I want to be numb and I fight the urge to release my adrenaline in a ring, to listen till a crowd disappears and all that was left was the throws of my punches and the anger that made everything red. My mind has tortured me with dreams of Skylar's laughs and smiles, with her soft touches and velvet kisses. I knew I could never have her, yet I still screwed everything over and went after her.

"You want to talk about it?" Rob disturbs my broken thoughts.

He's sitting down on a pile of black mats, his hands folded in front of him as he patiently waits. Does he ever get sick of my games? Does he ever feel like giving up on me, can't he just see I'm a lost cause?

My head hangs as I fall back onto my heels, I've been cleaning the same machine for the last ten minutes. "There is nothing worth saying." my voice is dry.

He scoffs, "Like I haven't heard that crap before." 

Why should I talk when I already know what he's going to say to me? "What do you want me to say Rob? That once again, I fucked up and ruined the one good thing in my life? That I never deserved to even touch a girl as amazing as Skylar? I already know all the shit." I spit bitterly at him.