For You I Will | MAC

31.| When Tomorrow Comes

"Mace, he's been trying to call me, what if something is wrong?" Jordan yelled over his ringtone.

"Ignore it!" I told him, matching his volume.

His phone had been ringing non stop, I did wonder briefly if something might be wrong.

I quickly shook the thought and turned my attention back to the book I was reading.

A sappy romance novel in which a beautiful girl falls hopelessly in love with a man far from her reach.

Though now they were entertaining the idea of his possible cheating on her.

I doubted he did, it was the way this shit always worked.

Fake problems, only to be brought back together beautifully for a happy ending.

Well in real life happy endings don't exist.

No happy ending for Mac and I, none for Jordan and Kailey, none for anybody.

I once had believed in this shit when Grant had expressed his feelings for me.

We all saw how that turned out.

I really felt like I wanted to call Mac,to scream at him and tell him he was wrong, that I'm not some sleazy whore, but my pride would not allow me to beg.

So instead I read books, scoffing and sneering at them when they spoke of romances and happily ever afters.

I was bitter, and maybe bitter wasn't even the word, I was livid.

I knew I couldn't ignore him forever, I didn't really want to either, but for one night, he could suffer.

I was fully prepared to hurt him the way his words had hurt me.

"Macey, he isn't gonna give up" Jordan reminded me as he walked around to the other side of the couch, taking seat.

"I know" I retorted, was there anything he really thought I didn't know about Mac by now.

"So why won't you just talk to him, maybe its an easy fix" Jordan shrugged, popping a chicken nugget in his mouth.

"Easy fix" I snorted, stsling a chicken nugget, "he called me a whore"

Jordan's eyes widened, sure I had left out little parts of the story for Jordan's sake when I'd given him the recap.

"He what?!?" He growled.

"Yeah, said I was a whore and I played Grant and him" I retorted, curling my lips into a twisted smirk. Not a happy smirk, a maniacal, bitter smirk.

"Now you know he didn't mean that" Jordan relaxed slightly.

"Sure he did, he meant everything he said" I told him, looking down at my lap.

"No" he shook his head, "he was angry, felt betrayed" He argued, "I've said mean things to Kailey too,but I never mean them"

I felt a little bit better at his reassuring words, but not enough to make me call Mac, I'd just find him tomorrow.

Tomorrow I would fix it.

M A C

I was too late, she had fucking jumped and all because of my big mouth.

I dialed Jordan letting it ring all the way up to voicemail, doing so back to back.

Six times I called him,and six times the call was sent to voice mail.

I sat on the ledge in the red dirt, allowing a few stray tears to fall.

Sure, men don't cry, not in public, they don't.

However, At this exact moment it wouldn't have mattered if I was on national television, I'd have broken down and cried.

Cried for Macey, for the possibility of having things with her that I would never find now.

For myself. The last words I'd uttered to her and she would never even know that I didn't mean it.

I felt my breathing hitch as my heart crumbled into a million tiny pieces.

I briefly contemplated jumping off myself, diving into the Canyon below.If the afterlife did exist Macey would be there to greet me on the other side.

What would that solve? Shed only be waiting to kick my ass for jumping, and fr saying the shit I'd said.

Instead a gathered what was left of my heart, and stood up.

I wiped my eyes dry with the sleeves of my jumpsuit and headed toward my truck.

I went the opposite way, far away from cainville, just driving to wherever the road took me.

I couldn't live in this town without her in it, her haunting memory lurking around every corner like a ghost.

Reaching into the pocket of my jumpsuit, I pulled out the tiny cross necklace, rubbing it between my fingers for a moment and then draping it over the rearview mirror.

I watched it sway as the moonlight sparkled off of it, it would be a constant reminder of the love I'd experienced and then lost. Of the girl who had worn it so perfectly around her neck.

Of my failure, my stupidity. If ever I forgot my Macey, I would see it and remember her.

Wherever I was going now, Macey would be with me, she would always be with me.

She was still my forever.