Sold To A Beast

Living Again

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Sleep isn't just sleep anymore.
It's an escape.

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I jumped awake with a scream, Doctor Cason holding me down so that I wouldn't thrash off the bed as I struggled for air. The lighting in the room burned my eyes with its brightness, contrasting against the storm I had been watching moments before.

Dameon helped hold me down as I fought to rise, easily pushing me to lay back down because I had no strength. The room was filled with silence as the crowd that accompanied us looked at me disapprovingly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Morgan Solomon was the first to start shouting, the volume making my ears ring and I had to close my eyes to keep away the headache.

"I got distracted." It wasn't a complete lie, but it was a poor excuse that they probably wouldn't let pass. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, it was a pain that they couldn't understand or comfort. They had no idea what kind of demons controlled my thoughts, nor did they truly know about my mental health state.

Andrew was dead and I still felt completely alone.

"This pack still looks to you for leadership!" Dameon said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown. "They do not know about their Alpha yet, just that something is wrong. I'm not sure how they would have taken it if I were to tell them both of our pack leaders had died."

"There is a reason why humans and werewolves are not usually mates, and I'm assuming it's partially because of this. One human can't lead a pack of werewolves." No one could argue with me or tell me I was wrong. There was nothing that I could do that someone else couldn't, and I already lacked the strengths and attributes the werewolves had.

I let the tears on my cheeks stay.
It's now too painful to wipe away

I pulled the IV out of my arm slowly, Doctor Cason coming over to help me with it when I noticed. I sat up with a sigh and let my head adjust to the change as the headache started to lesson slightly.

"What will you do now?" Ivan Birdy was the first to ask, their nervous gazes glancing at one another before looking at me expectantly.

I let my feet touch the floor despite the few rises of protest. I held my hands out to steady myself as Gale and Dameon both readied to catch me if needed, their concern was appreciated.

"I'm going to change into some dry clothes," I walked towards the door, passing the Alphas and Lunas as I did. Pulling open the heavy door, I called to Dameon and Gale behind me. "Arrange for the pack to gather at the arena as soon as they can, new members included. Tell them their Luna says it's urgent."

I didn't bother to see their reactions as I began my trek to my room, slowly making my way down the hall before I could hear Gale and Dameon behind me leave the room as well. Gale left for the front door as Dameon and I cut apart from him and made our way up the staircase.

He lifted me to carry me, I closed my eyes so I could control the panic spreading to my stiffened limbs. Every time he touched me the memories of him keeping me from Andrew were all I could think about. A cold sweat littered my my skin, Dameon noticed but chose to ignore it.

He let me go when we reached the top, my hand finding the wall to help get me to the room. It wouldn't be hot today, the rain promised a small cool front to follow after and I decided to wear jeans with a long sleeve shirt. Turning back to Dameon who waited by the closed room door patiently, I gave him a small smile. "Can I not change my clothes by myself either?"