1 + 1 = 3? [Complete]

Chapter 42

'Kiss me'

I whispered. His lips came crushing down onto mine and I let myself wandered away for the few moments it lasted.

Truth is I haven't been letting myself feel for the past few weeks. It started ever since he admit to sleeping with someone else during the days he followed me around. I didn't dare to fall deeper than I already have, with my heart secretly broken into pieces as I try to made myself believe it didn't bother me.

"Hanna?"

A couple blink on my eyes as I realized I've let myself zone out once again. I manage a smile as I left a peck on his lips before jumping out of his bed.

' sorry, I just have alot to think about about work.. maybe I should just get home, don't want to bother you.'

I try to smile as I gave a half ass explanation while I put on my clothing that have scattered around the floor.

"Hanna"

I heard him sigh. Biting on my bottom lips I tried to ignore thinking of what might be going through his head.

' I'll call you when I'm done with work. I really should get going... Well then, enjoy your night.'

I grab my bag that have fallen on the ground while we were too tied up having sex.

"Enjoy my night? Do you mean I'm going to go sleep around while you're gone?"

He voice out as I froze in my steps. Yes, technically that I suppose. I've given up thinking he or any man would stay loyal to me.

"Do you really think that lowly of me? That I cannot keep my dick to myself?"

I bit on my lips harder as I listen to his words. My gaze found his as I kept silent.

"You're not fine, Hanna. You are not fine with me having sex with someone else while we are separated."

I cringe my nose at the thought of him, in bed, with another woman. Making her climaxed like he did to me. Something I kept on replaying in my mind recently.

"But it's just you I love Hanna."

My hands form a fist tightly as I try not to release my emotion. Heck I haven't even let myself enjoy sex with him for the past week.

' I'm afraid.'

I finally spoke out as I shut my eyes close. Already I could feel tears forming at the end of it, ready to spill if I speak again.

' I don't have the confidence to hold anyone's love. I don't think I'll ever have it again.'

Yet I can't get myself to stop once I started, and the tears find it ways down my cheeks.

' Even if it's not your fault, I still can't get over it. I lived on the thoughts that I'm someone, the only one, you waited for the past three months we were apart..and you have no idea how much that meant to me. To learn that it's not true.. To learn that it's just all in my imagination..'

I shudder at that thought. How I've past that three months with a fake thought, it was much scarier than it seems. As if that three months have not existed in the first place.

' I'm not worth anyone effort. I'm just..plain old me. '

I wince as I look at my reflection through his bedroom mirror. I'm definitely not who I used to be. Young, confident, bright...and definitely full of hopes for the future ahead.

"How should I show you, how truly important you are to me? That night was just a mistake. You are worth any man pampering, I'm just happy you chose me... I dont know what you see in that reflection of yours. But I see a gorgeous lady for me to love, that gave my life meaning when it had none. When I'm so lost in this world of only materialistic wealth, this lady showed me what being in love meant and how happy I could be when I spend it with someone I want to care for and love.... I don't think you see the same lady I see in that reflection, Hanna. And you really should see it from my eyes. Because she is gorgeous."