VI.

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"You deserve this. I can't believe I trusted you. I can't believe I was a friend to you. And this is what I get back? Shame on you, you whore," she screams on top of her lungs, her face red from the anger, her eyes red from the tears, her hair messy from the wind.

"Please, I ... You have to believe me ..." I beg out with a loud sob, my voice is filled with desperation and mortification, because there's a big circle of people around us, some even having their phones out and recording all this.

She shakes her head, disappointment and betrayal shining from her eyes, directed at no one else but me. "I don't have to do anything for you anymore. You're nothing to me. You hear it?" She turns from me and addresses all the people around us. "Girls, hide your boyfriends. We have a little whore who spreads her legs for guys that are taken here." She points her hand towards my direction.

My head lowers in shame and tears fall down so hard that my vision is blurry. I'm thankful for that so I can't see people's expressions and I don't see them whispering to each other. "You don't know me!" I want to scream out at everyone. But I keep quiet.

Maybe that's my mistake. That I didn't stand up for myself and prove they're all wrong. But what can I do against these people? They're powerful and I'm powerless.

And then it all starts. My biggest nightmare. The circle of people around us starts screaming hateful and shameful words. They get closer to me, starting to throw things at me. Tears start flowing faster and I don't dare to lift my head up and look at anyone.

They're getting closer and closer, making it impossible for me to escape. Something hard and big hits my stomach and I crunch down. And then something else hits the back of my knees with a force so I fall down forward.

A sob escapes me, a painful, tearing sob that seems to rip a part of my soul out. "I give up," I whisper the words that no one can hear through the loud yelling around me. "I give up."


I awake with a start, sitting up on the bed, feeling disoriented when I don't recognise my surroundings at first but I quickly settle down with a sigh of relief when I realise where I am and that it's already morning. This was the second nightmare I had this night.

I feel like I haven't slept for a week. I'm tired, sleepy and everything aches, especially my chest where I have that familiar tightness present that makes it hard to breathe. I sit up in the bed, pulling my knees to my body and wrap my arms around them, hugging them, and putting my head on them. I found this is the way I can calm myself down the fastest and the easiest. It helps me focus on breathing and my mind clears.

But that tiredness of a rough night doesn't go away, though. I already know it's going to be a long day.

I get myself out of the bed and get ready for the day, not even trying with my looks. I only wrap my hair up in a high ponytail, letting the dark circles and my pale skin show. I don't care if anyone notices, anyway. I gave up a long time ago trying to impress people.

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