XXII.

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I knock. I don't know why I expected any answer in return, but it's unnerving that I'm met with silence and I have to barge in again.

At least now I know to be quiet. I quietly open the door, holding my breath so I don't make much noise. My first mistake is switching on the light. Alexander groans out in protest. "Fuck's sake, Little one, turn the light off," he mutters from the bed. His voice is muffled from burying his head into the pillow.

I look down at the plate in my hands. "I brought you something to eat," I whisper.

"The light," is Alexander's response. He sounds tired and in pain.

I know that if I turn the light off, I'll fall over. So I quickly go put the food on his nightstand and then rush back to turn the light off. And then I awkwardly stand beside the door, twisting my fingers, not knowing what to do with myself.

"Leave," Alexander says.

I swallow and I blindly walk through the room, hoping I don't hit anything or that I don't trip and fall down on my face. "You have to eat something. Your mum's orders," I say, still whispering.

My arms are stretched out in front of me. But I don't feel his bed with my arms and I hit it with my legs. And I fall down. "Oompf!"

I don't hit Alexander. At least I think I don't. I fall on the edge of the soft mattress and catch myself there from falling down to the floor.

I hear Alexander's long inhale and even longer exhale.

"Sorry," I whisper in a grimace. My God, what a fool I am.

Alexander doesn't say anything back, probably done with me. I mean, I get him. He's never in the mood to talk with me, why would he want to do it now when he's in pain and I'm causing him more of it?

I'm still stupid enough that I don't leave his room when I clearly have a chance to. But I don't know why I feel some kind of compassion for him when I see him so weak and all alone. Maybe because I know how much it sucks when you're in pain and you have to go through it alone with no one standing by your side.

I sit up on the bed and just move forward so I know I'm near the nightstand. "Okay," I mouth to myself, taking a breath. "We'll need to make this work," I say, forgetting that I should speak in a whisper.

"Quiet," Alexander groans. I feel him shift on the bed.

My cheeks redden and my body gets warm when I realise how intimate this is. Me, sitting on his bed in the dark and feeling his every move. It's weird. Because I never thought I would ever find myself in a situation like this.

"You have to eat. Don't make me force the food down your throat," I whisper to him harshly. If Rosanna and Rosalyn asked me to take the food to him, they trust me to make him eat it and I'll be damned if he doesn't do it.

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