Louise [Larry Stylinson AU]

Chapter 37

Louis' P.O.V. –

I stood away from Harry's house and breathed heavily. I can't let him change me due to his doubts. I can feel I'm not the same person as before. I have started feeling insecure and this is because Harry has a huge misunderstanding. I don't want to tell him the actual reason now. He would still call me a 'slut'. He is homophobic and telling him the truth would make no difference. I am gay and I'm not ashamed of it. It's pretty unfortunate. I wish I were born as a girl but if I'm a gay boy, I accept it.

I've always tried to pretend to be someone I'm not when I'm with Harry. I try to hide the way I eat, drink or behave. I don't want to change. Harry would never love me for who I am. This doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I'll always love him and it's sad that he'll never love me back. If he can't love my actual self, it's okay.

At least all these thoughts prevent me from crying. The necklace is no longer around my neck and the bracelet that was supposed to be on his wrist is in my pocket. It hurts but it is okay...maybe.

The ringing of my phone brought me back on Earth from the world of thoughts. I took out my phone and accepted the call without looking at the contact name.

"Hello?" I said.

"Lou?" A familiar voice said. My mum.

I didn't say a word. I let out a choked sob and held the phone close as if it was my mum.

"I – I want to...talk to you, Louis." She said. She sounded sad and I could be the possible reason of her sadness. I've made so many people sad.

I suppressed a sob and walked slowly. It was getting dark and I don't know where to go. Niall's parents had returned.

"Say something." Mum said softly. I sniffled quietly and simply focused on her voice.

"You can at least say a 'hello'." Mum suggested, sighing.

I took a deep breath and spoke almost in a whisper, "I-I'm s-sorry."

There was silence on the other side and I wonder if I spoke something wrong.

"Can you come home to have a proper conversation?" She asked. Home. I don't have a home anymore. I don't want a conversation that could ruin my self-esteem.

"Please?" She pleaded.

Why does she want me to step into her house? She was the one who kicked me out.

"Okay." I mumbled, walking towards the house. It was better than standing on the cold streets and freezing to death. It was getting colder and darker.

I ended the call before letting her speak. I quickened my steps when I saw the house from a distance. I paused when I stood outside the door. Should I knock? Should I not knock? Or should I speak a knock-knock joke? Or should I knock someone out? I deviated from the current situation, didn't I?

I gulped and knocked on the door and the door was swung open almost immediately and someone jumped onto me and hugged me tightly. I inhaled the fragrance and concluded that it was Lottie.

"I missed you so much Lou." She said in my ear and hugged me tighter if it was even possible.

"I missed you too but could you pull away? I can't breathe." I said, smiling.

"No." She replied, giggling.

I tickled her sides all of a sudden and she pulled away quickly, laughing and running inside the house. I smiled. She's annoying at times but she's cute.

I noticed another person and my smile disappeared. My mum was looking at me from head to toe with her eyes widened and mouth opened in surprise.

"You're shivering. Come inside." She said, closing the door when I entered. It was warm inside. It was the warmth of love.