She Held The World ✿ Brendon Urie

Chapter Eleven

Hmm, time to start a debate. So, when I got my hair cut in the beginning of the school year, I didn't like it. The person who cut my hair- who was just my twenty three, unprofessional, untrained in hair cutting, did a shitty job. I wasn't happy with it. My hair goes to my shoulders but I want it to go shorter. So you know what I did, I took a pair of hair cutting scissors and layered my hair. My bangs are a little bit smaller as they were before. I'm not the best at hair cutting, but I'll cut my own hair. I'm happy at where I cut it. It's maybe a few inches off my shoulders and not much of a difference.

But my mom freaked out of me once she found out. I told her that I thought it was fine but she said that I shouldn't have cut my hair on my own without permission.

What do you think; should I be able to cut my hair? Or do you agree with my mom and I should have asked her?

Post your answers in the comments below!

This chapter is inspired by @DarkHighness and @SecretJungle88's truly amazing story, 'New Perspective'. I can't express how much I love it. It's about the LGBTQ community and how people are judged because of who they love. It's another Brendon Urie story, but in this story Brendon, or for this matter, Bree. Bree is a loving character and I was crying when she was crying. If haven't heard about this, please look it up. It's an awesome book and I highly recommend it.

{TRIGGER WARNING}

Enjoy.

(Play song now)

"B- but it's not like that. I can't just-" Brooke cried. Ryan pulled her closer to his chest. Ryan's shoulder was soaked in her tears, but it's not like he minded. Her body was shaking, her voice cracking. Brooke didn't know what she was feeling. She's bottled up her feelings for so long, it feels weird that someone is actually paying attention to her and caring.

"Talk to me Brooke, please. Tell me what's on your mind." Ryan whispered in her ear.

"W-why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to be the one? I could have been different, my life could have been different. B-but no, I had to be that girl. That girl that everyone pitied, the girl that everyone hates. Teachers, adults, and students always look at me with p-pity in their eyes. I'm s-sick of it!" Brooke buried her face into his chest more as she cried. "I don't want people's pity! It makes me feel useless. People always ask if I'm okay; and I'm not! Okay, I'm not. I always put on a fucking smile and I'm tired of it. I h-hate it, I fucking hate it!" Brooke yelled.

"Shhh, it's okay. Let it all out." Ryan coaxed. He didn't want to push her into saying stuff that she didn't want to say.

"I'm sick of this," Brooke poured out. "Going day in and day with a fake smile on my face. Lewis was my only friend and he's gone. I go through the day with constant looks. 'Oh, here comes abused girl' or 'hey new bruises'. I'm sick of it. Everyone pretends that they are worried for me w-when they aren't. I was so close to suicide one time and the only reason I did was because of music. How fucking sad it that? Music is the only thing that helps me stay calm. I want to be normal. I don't want to be me, the boring nobody that has bruises all over her body and that never talks to anyone. That's now most people remember me as. That kid that everyone hates or that kid that her family gave her away. What's the point of being alive if you're dead inside? I don't feel some pain; i-is that something wrong with me? Why can't I be like those girls at school who are perfect in every way? Their family, their body, everything is perfect about them. And then I'm over here, with plain brown and ugly brown eyes. I j-just want to be normal." She ranted.

"No one is normal Brooke. No one can be. Music helps me to calm down, and don't be ashamed of your music. Besides, you are beautiful. And we do love you Brooke." Ryan gently said.

"Maybe it would be better if I was just gone." Brooke muttered.

Ryan pulled back and grabbed her by shoulders. "What did you just say? Please don't tell me what I think you mean."

"What's the point? You and Brendon would be better off without me anyway. It's only my first day back here and I- I caused both of you to cry! What is wrong with me?" Brooke sobbed, her hands lacing her eyes, covering them. She rocked back and forth slightly in Ryan's arms. Ryan's grip tightened around her shoulders.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Brooke." Ryan sighed. "Nothing is wrong with anyone. We are just different from each other. There is no clear meaning to the word 'wrong' or 'perfect'."

***

Hmm, k. This chapter got personal very fast. That little rant that Brooke said was slightly about me in a way so yeah.

Ugh, emotional chapter.

-THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT-