135 (Capital Steez)

37• Endors Toi

• 6:45 p.m •

Steez was talking a lot! He went from talking about selling, crystals, his third eye, to how the food tastes. I just ate my food, nodded my head and looked at him. I'm so lost.

"You know how I feel about that thing." He scratched his arm.

"Mhm." I shoved cheesecake in my mouth. I'm tired. I don't feel like hearing Steez's mouth anymore. I just wanna go to sleep.

He scowled. "Why aren't you talking?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're just saying mhm and yeah ok. Is something wrong?" He looked hurt.

"No, I'm just tryna enjoy this fire ass cheesecake." I forced a smile and he bought what I was selling.

"Alright! Lemme hush." He smiled with his teeth showing and everything.

Why is this man so naive? Why does he care so much? Is there a catch? There is no perfect man.

•

   Once we got home I didn't feel well. Emotionally. Steez kept smiling and I kept forcing a smile to avoid questions. I took off my heels and plopped down on the bed. My eyes laid heavy and my feet were sore. While Steez was checking himself out in the bathroom, posing, repeating "damn I'm a sexy nigga." and changing I got back onto the computer in the corner of the room.
Nothing new in Virginia. I cleared the history and shut the computer down. I slipped into my pajamas and crawled into the bed. All that food gave me the itis.
   Along with the itis I felt a wave of depression come over me once again. I hope Raymond is fine. I hope Jasmine is too. Is Virginia the same without me?

"Stephanie!!!" Steez said in a singsong voice.

He came out and held up a box of condoms while smiling.

I chuckled. "No. Not today. I'm really tired. Tomorrow though."

He tossed them on the counter. "That's cool. Get some rest babygirl. I'll see you in the morning."

• September 20, Thursday •
• 11:58 a.m •

I woke up and Steez was gone. I couldn't breathe and I looked around. Steez is no where to be found. He does this all the time. I need to calm down. It's not that deep. I looked out the window and blankets of heather gray covered the sky.
   I opened a window. It's really starting to get cold, the wind blew and it started drizzling. My backpack was across the room and I unzipped it looking for a sweater. A sweater my dad bought me for my birthday. I pulled it out and it was wrinkled. It looked worn. I chewed my bottom lip and held my tears in. Don't we have an iron? My phone rang and I ran to the nightstand and picked up my phone.

Steez was breathing hard and it sounded like he was running.

Steez: You...Okay?!
Me: Yeah! What's going on?!
Steez: Don't open the door for...for anyone! You got me?!
Me: Yeah but what's-

The call ended and I just looked at my phone with a confused look on my face.