Amneisa

Amnesia XLV

Blair was frantically pacing up and down the length of her bedroom at home. She couldn't go back to the academy, not when she had done such a cruel act. How could she have hurt Maddison like that? There was so much blood on the ice, could a child even hold that much blood in their body? And her screams. Oh gosh her screams. The agony... The pain.

All Blair's fault.

She wasn't fit to be a mother. How could she raise a child when she had hurt Maddison so bad? The little girl was four years old. Now she would have scars that would last her a lifetime. No. Blair was not fit to be a mother. Where was her humanity? Where was her rational thinking? What had she become?

Blair stood in front of her wardrobe mirror and rested her hand on top of her stomach. She could feel the little bump already. Soon it would become obvious that she was pregnant. She would have to tell her parents, she would have to tell everyone. There was another option. An easier option. Blair could have an abortion. She could get rid of the thing before it even knew the world. Or she could run, raise the child in secret instead. Addison had done it, Blair's child could too.

Blair rubbed her stomach.

No. This was her fault. She couldn't let a child pay for her mistakes. She couldn't play with a life like that. What she could do was give him or her a good life. Make sure they didn't turn out like their mother had. There was only one way to do that. Give the child up for adoption. That was it. That was she was going to do. Blair wasn't ready to become a mother. She also wasn't ready to watch a child's life be played with. Not her child's. Adoption was the only way forward.

Yet that didn't help Maddison. That didn't help the four-year-old who was in a hospital. How was she doing? How was Caiden doing? Caiden. He would never forgive her. Any chance that he would help her get through her pregnancy was gone now. Blair couldn't even blame Addison for that. She had no one to blame but herself. She blew it. She blew her only chance.

Also, Blair's mum had lost her job. It didn't come as a shock to her and she didn't deny the fact that she told Lawson Incorp about the Myers when the lawyers came asking. That was the worst thing she could ever have done. To accept her actions was to accept that she played a part in the murder of the Myers. Blair's mum was now under trial and was guaranteed time in jail.

The only good thing was that Blair's dad was a supreme judge. Yet maybe even he might not be able to get his wife out of this one. At least they wouldn't have to struggle financially. They had enough money to not work and last a lifetime. What it did mean was that they expected a lot from Blair.

A lot more than what they already expected.

Blair began to pace up and down her room again. She could hear her parents arguing downstairs. Her father was furious at what his wife had done. He was saying how there might not be any way around her sentence. Even her father believed that his wife had no chance to be proven not guilty in the trial. She was going to jail. There was nothing they could do about it.

She felt sick. Her mind was working over time and she just wanted to sit down and relax. She wanted to forget about what happened. She wanted to be the Blair Fell again. The Blair Fell that was always perfect and who everyone wanted to be like. Not whoever she had become. The girl who was pregnant, jealous, almost got some killed and had a mother who was going to jail. How had all that happened in the space of just four months?

Four months that determined the rest of her life. The four months that shaped her into who she was and who she would become. This was who she was now. Blair didn't like who she had become.

Blair twiddled her thumbs. She couldn't go back to Eaton. Not only because everyone would hate her, but because she was nearly midway into her pregnancy. If she didn't go back then maybe people wouldn't find out. Who was she kidding? People would find out. If not by Addison then by the media. There was a war going on downstairs and Blair dreaded making it worse, but they would find out sooner or later. She had to tell her parents that she wasn't going back to Eaton and more importantly, she had to tell them why.